March general chit chat

look!





great jokes thanks

all for elderly ones?

like G?

OK,yesterday was Orio cookie's 100th birthday. Happy birthday Orio.

Video of Lady Antebellum's tribute to Orio. Does anyone need an Orio now? Got milk?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEMKILBPptc&feature=player_embedded

oh noo
please! I'm too fat for that!

There was a young lass of Madras
Who had a remarkable a.s.s.
Not rounded and pink
As you'd probably think.....
It was gray, had long ears and ate grass.

Joanna, you cracked me up tonight!!! Too funny!!!

Thanks Pari!!! I almost forgot.

Happy Women's Day to all ladies.

to all of you, girls!

Thank you It's Me !!! Beautiful flowers.

Happy Women's Day!

We are women, HEAR US ROAR!!!!

Learn something new on COH all the time. Never knew there was a women's day, so happy-happy to all you women.

That's adorable Joanna. LOL

LOL that is so funny!

From Twitter:

What The F*** Facts ‏ @WhatTheFFacts

Heterosexual women are easily aroused when men with deeper voices whisper sweet nothings in their ears.

So now we know why George is so successful with women! HA!

What The F*** Facts ‏ @WhatTheFFacts

A Frenchmen has sued Google for putting his picture in the Google Street View app while he was urinating in his front yard.

LornaDoone wrote:
Heterosexual women are easily aroused when men with deeper voices whisper sweet nothings in their ears.

really?

yep yes jaaaaaa

Oh god, another bloody hangover. When will I be old enough to learn to say no?

I found out the hard way the older you get the worse the hangover and longer it seems to stay! I solved the problem by stopping the large consumption of alcohol now it's just a small consumption of alcohol!

Hmm, I need to try that one day.

At the mo' I'm taking the George Clooney approach to hangovers: don't sober up.

Right, I'm off to a boozy lunch with my boss which will be followed by a colleague's 40th birthday party tonight. No chance in hell I'll be anything close to sober is there?

Laird Hamilton...he plays Troy in The Descendants

Joanna, LOVE your Mastercard commercial!!! What a hoot!!!

Katiedot wrote:Right, I'm off to a boozy lunch with my boss which will be followed by a colleague's 40th birthday party tonight. No chance in hell I'll be anything close to sober is there?

I used to do that but switched to wine!!! Wine is good for heart and soul.

Katiedot wrote:Hmm, I need to try that one day.

At the mo' I'm taking the George Clooney approach to hangovers: don't sober up.

Right, I'm off to a boozy lunch with my boss which will be followed by a colleague's 40th birthday party tonight. No chance in hell I'll be anything close to sober is there?

There's an old trick I learned from the rockers I used to hang out with in my younger days and that was to take two aspirin (I don't know if their equivalent works as well as plain aspirin) before going to bed and it will either completely take care of or will cut down the effects of the hangover.

Just remember.......
"Alcohol doesn't cause Hangovers....
Waking Up does !"

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Ok another weird collision....found out today that the woman who does my taxes has sons named George and Nick..... told her they were great names

Hope you get some rest tomorrow Katie...hangovers are not fun...oh I find drinking water in between drinks helps to delay the buzz....

LOVE the mastercard vid!

How do you get Holy Water?


Boil the HELL out of it

it's me wrote:

LornaDoone wrote:
Heterosexual women are easily aroused when men with deeper voices whisper sweet nothings in their ears.

really?

Just picking that up from a twitter post from an account called "WhatTheF**kFacts.

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says,
"I have a question for you.

If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop,
one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone
and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously,
"I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny,
"the one with the wedding ring on her finger,
but I like the way you're thinking."

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out
a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.
The old man said, "I don't think you understand,
I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock
and brought another ring over.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body
trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check.
"I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds
and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine
the weekend I had?"

The local yokel got married and his honeymoon was the first time he'd been off the farm.

He'd saved for twenty years for this, so could afford a classy hotel.

Checking in he said "Me and the new WIFE would like to hire your best room for a week"

"Certainly sir" replied the receptionist. "Would you like the Bridal"?

The yokel looked a bit uncertain, then said
"Naw, reckon not, a'll just hang onto her ears
'til a get the hang of it"

Hump Free Camel

Once upon a time there was a very handsome
male camel with two huge camel humps.
He fell in love and married a beautiful
female camel who had one perfect camel hump.
As time progressed, they became the proud parents
of a wonderful baby camel who had no humps.
They contemplated long and hard on what to call their beautiful little boy.
They finally decided on...... ..
You ready for this????? ‘
‘
‘ 'Humphrey'!

Oh, stop your whining..
It's a nice story and better than a lot of the junk I send you.

(pss...cindy.... can you please explain it to me... ? I'm a bit )

It's me - Humphrey in the English language is pronounced as hump free. It's a play on words.

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,..just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

Have a great day!

LOOOOOL!!!!

(thanks C)

CindiGirl, you made my morning! Now I feel really good about myself!

Glad to hear it Mel. Two more days til Descendents comes out on DVD. I checked my local theater and it's not playing there now. Although The Artist still is. Probably because it won the Oscars.

Thanks cindi for the laughs....

I had to recently give up jogging
because.....

My thighs rubbed together and set my knickers on fire.
and
The ice kept spilling out of my glass of vodka & tonic.

ROFL Joanna -

When A Woman Decided To Have Her Portrait Painted
She Told The Artist,

“Please Paint Me With Diamond Rings, A Diamond Necklace, Emerald Bracelets, A Ruby Broach,
And A Gold Rolex.”

“But You Are Not Wearing Any Of Those Things,” He Replied.

“I Know,” She Said. “It’s In Case I Should Die Before My Husband.

I Know He Will Remarry Right Away, And I Want His New Wife
To Go Crazy Looking For The Jewelry.”

great joke Joanna!!

Im back after a pause away. Just so everyone knows, its not that I dont want to be here, but I work three jobs. Typical day. Up at 5 sorting thru ebay stuff, getting items listed and sold items ready to ship. Then its online and downloading all my computer customers for the day. Out the door 830-900, at the post office dropping off ebay stuff, then to fedex to pickup computer stuff, then it 200-300 miles a day driving for my customers. Home around 7, drop off the tool bag, pick up my camera bag, and then off to some event in hollywood. Home by 10, images edited and online and bed by 12 or 1am. Lately Ive been slacking on the photography because its cold and flu season in LA and as soon as Ive overcome one "bug" I seem to catch another. And, my car has surpassed 500,000 miles so I need to take it easier until I find another car. I blow thru one quart of oil a day since I had the head gasket changed a while ago (bad mechanic and he wont fix it). Anyone know of a car for sale ?!! I need to get excersizing in there some where as menopause put on some unwanted weight and I cant seem to get it off. On weekends Im either off photographing something or sleeping! But I really do try and drop in here as often as I can; I really enjoy the postings you great ladies have.

Good to see you back playful. You have a busy life, but an interesting one I'd imagine.
Sounds like you need a new car very soon....hope you find a good one....in the meantime you can borrow Dobbin

Well Deb, quite the slacker aren't you??? What do you do in your spare time??? You know I'm just giving you crap... It is sooooo good to see you here!!! I know easier said than done, but try to take some "Deb time" and don't totally burn out. We want you here!!!!

You know Deb if you didn't sleep you would get so much more done. LOL CS. You do more in a day then I do in a week. Hope you get a new car soon! Thanks for all the jokes, they make me laugh everyday. I do love that Johnny.