Early April Fool...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Clooney revitalizes theatre program
Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Since the budget cuts and the theatre department’s presence on the chopping block, KU administrators have gathered together to find something to help bring the theater program back to life. In a bold move, George Clooney has been given his doctorate of Cinema Acting by Harvard University and is now suitable to teach the young theatrical minds of KU.

“I know it was a risky move and an expensive one,” said James Oceans, a member of the GATJC, Get Actors Teaching Jobs at Colleges. “We were able to get him more money than three tenured professors get in a year.”

The hiring came with much excitement from young theatre majors and many are hoping to take the next step into Hollywood after graduating. George Clooney’s hiring also made some people worry whether or not stage acting is becoming a dying art.

Long-term descendent of the great silent movie actor, Charles Chaplin IV cried out publicly that the art of theatre and live performance will become obsolete.

“In an age where people only want to be famous and could care less about actual art, the skilled stage actors are a dying breed and Clooney being hired at KU is only pushing the process along much more quickly,” Shakespeare said at a press conference he held from his home in Reading, PA.

Many however are on the side of the school and feel that people will become great actors and it will draw more attention to KU.

“Once we have more movie stars that graduate from KU, more will come in hopes of one day being movie stars,” Oceans said.

The idea that even more movie stars will graduate out of KU has some wondering if a famous professor can make a famous student.

“Obviously if Clooney sees someone with a promising talent, he’ll recruit them to play in a film with him, or at least strongly encourage the casting director to cast them for the spot,” Oceans said during an interview.

The school should only hope that the new professor brings in more students seeing that his salary alone will put KU $5 million in debt

Many however are skeptical as to whether or not KU has enough talent. KU has produced a number of athletes who have gone on to play professional sports but no big screen actors have come out of the school.

Prior to making the move to academia, Clooney was working on a follow up to the popular Ocean’s series, Oceans 13.5 which will include the entire original cast along with some new faces, promises to surprise fans of the series.