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Yep, there's no getting round it: this house has rules. I've tried to keep it as simple as possible and if you don't like my rules, that's fine; nobody makes you come here. Sorry to be blunt, but this is my forum and if you don't like it then you're free to not join in.
However, for as long as you do visit here, you're in my house and you follow my rules. Man, I sound like my parents!
1. No name calling.
We're not in school any more, so let's let go of the name calling. And that's the rule for whether you're talking to another poster or writing about someone in George's world. It's simple good manners and if you can't find a kind word to say, be sure we'll all see what sort of a person you really are.
2. No repetition
Everyone has the right to an opinion. Everyone. But you don't need to express it over and over and over and over again. Once is plenty. If someone disagrees with your views, you can explain yourself again, allow them to explain their point of view again and then you should both leave it.
3. About George's girlfriends
This house's opinion is that George can date who he wants, when he wants and any way he wants. As long as he isn't breaking the law, we're fine with it. Anyone who does have issues with the kind of women he dates might want to find another discussion forum; we're not into censorious prudes tutting over suspected bad behaviour. Again, if you feel the need to criticise, pick apart and bitch about someone you've never met and who's done you no harm, ask yourself why. Does it make you feel better? Superior? Remember, what you write says more about you than it ever could about his girlfriend.
4. Keep it legal
Please don't post copyrighted images or articles here without permission. And unless you have legal, documented evidence that someone is a prostitute or has sex with an abnormally high number of people, please leave the libellous name calling on your side of the screen and off the forum.
Also, even though it's not illegal as such to take things from other sites - particularly other Clooney sites - it is bad manners. If you want to share something from somewhere else please credit the person and/or site who found it first.
5. No brown nosing
George Clooney doesn't read here, and neither does anyone associated with him. So be yourself and don't try to impress imaginary visitors with your fawning opinions about his lifestyle, looks and acting.
6. No duplicate identities
We love you just as you are. Really, we do, so there's no need to pretend to be different people. Please don't set up multiple accounts with different names. And definitely don't pretend to be anyone else on this forum. If I find a poster is using more than one identity (in other words pretending to be different people) then I will ban that poster and I will post her email addresses, physical address and computer IP address in this forum. If you need to re-register or change your username for whatever reason, just introduce yourself again as "Hello, I'm ABC and I used to post as ZYX before my computer crashed and I had to reset
" just so we know who we're talking with.
7. No conspiracy theories
If you know something 'secret' about George either tell us in full, or keep quiet about it. Not interested in "I know something you don't know" games. Likewise, we don't believe George is secretly in love with anyone else and if you believe you're his secret love, you'll be so happy and fulfilled that you won't need find a self-esteem boost by posting on a fan forum, will you? None of his friends or lovers post here, so if you're really in his inner circle, neither should you.
8. Don't pet the sweaty stuff
George is [always/often/sometimes/occasionally/rarely (delete as appropriate)] a wonderful man and therefore attracts many fans. While most of us are here to catch up on his news and have a bit of fun, some take it a little bit more seriously. George has security guards wherever he goes but we don't have that luxury, so please let your common sense be our security. In the past, we've found out the hard way that it's not always easy to spot those with, let's say mental health issues, until it's too late. If there's a poster who seems a little 'off', intense or otherwise not entirely there, please don't respond and just ignore her posts. Tell me if you have any concerns and let me handle it.
9. This is a no-holds barred forum
We don't do taboo. If it's Clooney-related, feel free to discuss it, question it, raise it, post it, poll it, whatever 'it' may be - religion, sex, politics etc etc etc. All I ask is the following three points: 1. It must be directly Clooney-related, 2. It must be legal (let's not break international obscenity laws, please!) and 3. Play nicely.
10. If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong!
Not feeling the love? Try a new position and see how that goes.