Not So Curious George

Apart from the facts, universally acknowledged, that George Clooney prefers his girlfriends half my age, four sizes smaller than me, and I'm happily married to someone else, I am the perfect woman for him.

Why don't his love interests believe him when he says he won't get married again and doesn't want children? I believe you, George. Ladies, it's not because he's commitment-phobic - he was married to Talia Balsam for four years. Or, jealous husbands and boyfriends, gay. It's more likely because he doesn't want to give a large portion of his considerable fortune to an ex-wife and be an absent parent from working so much. When he isn't working, he's raising money and awareness for worthy causes. And when he isn't doing that, he's fighting off the world's most beautiful women who all seem to think they can change him.

Yes, there's the fabulous villa in Italy, the parties, the first-class travel, and rubbing shoulders with movie stars and world leaders, but it seems to me there's another big downside to being gorgeous George's girlfriend. After two incredible years and apparent bliss, she's going to wonder out loud if he might be thinking about settling down with her and making beautiful babies together. Which is when he kicks her into touch. And then she will forever be known as George Clooney's ex-girlfriend. There's never a reference in the media to Celine Balitrain, Lisa Snowdon, Sarah Larson or Elisabetta Canalis without mentioning they were George's ex.

There doesn't appear to be any downside to being George. He gets to have his cake and eat it, no pun intended. At least he doesn't string along his arm candy and is honest from the outset.

For his next relationship, I urge George to choose a woman who's been there, done that, had her tubes tied or whose ovaries have packed up of their own accord. Surely there are plenty of women out there who don't want to get married and have kids? Or is Oprah the only one?

Form an orderly line, please, ladies.

Cinderella wrote:It’s okay LouisLane! Go ahead and help Melbert because I love her, too! I do hope you get that kiss on your cheek!!