George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
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George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
President Barack and Michelle Obama:
DearMr. President and First Lady: Barack & Michelle
Thank you so much for the thoughtful gift. It is especially considerate since you weren’t able to come to the wedding. Amal and I completely understand that it fell on the same day as golf and the Beyonce concert. I really appreciate the signed copy of the United States Enemies List. I didn’t know it really existed, or that Julian Assange was on it. I’m trying to talk Amal into placing it on the mantle, but she thinks it clashes. She sends her gratitude also. What she actually said was “Thanks a lot, Mr. and Mrs. Leader of the Free World. Just what I needed.” She wanted to write you herself, but she has a case to prepare for. We hope you understand.
We look forward to you visiting us in Italy after 2016. I do, anyway. Amal thinks she’s busy that week.
Sincerely,
George
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler:
Hi, ladies. Ha ha. You got me. Really funny. Must have been a lot of trouble to have the mock Golden Globe award made. Engraving it “Actor with the Most Extreme Reaction to a Joke at an Awards Show” was an inspired touch. I got a good laugh out of it. Amal hasn’t seen it yet, maybe because I keep it in the trunk of Angela’s car, inside the spare tire compartment. Amal might not get the joke. Lebanese Brits aren’t known for their raucous sense of humor.
If this were the old days, I’d vow revenge. But I’m a changed man now. So I’ll just enjoy the laugh.
Just in case, though, leave the kids at home when you go jogging, okay?
Love always,
George
The Boys:
You always know just what I need. Thanks for the copy of 101 Conversation Starters. Seriously. You don’t know how much I need it. Getting it in hardcover was the way to go. It’s already wearing out. This sounds bad, but if there’s a real cease-fire in the Middle East, I’m fucked. So thanks again. I probably won’t see you until around Christmas or New Year’s because, well, you know.
George
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie:
Brad and Angie,
Thanks for the leather-bound dictionary. It’s lovely. Amal thinks it’s a collector’s item. But I was thumbing through it while she was sleeping, and I saw where you highlighted “humanitarian.” I’m going to let it go, because we’re friends, and frankly (between you and me) I get it. I’ll just keep it in the kitchen. Amal hardly ever goes in there.
Best,
George
Monika Jakisic:
Monika,
Listen, this has to stop. I intercepted your “gift.” Not cool. A picture of you naked in my bedroom holding up a newspaper from last October isn’t a wedding present. And you know the rules: No fucking cameras in my house. Don’t let me have to pull out the non-disclosure agreement. Stan will be all over your ass like… well, like a lot a people have been. But it’s time for you to move on. Find a nice Croatian man who’ll be impressed by your semi-celebrity and settle down. A horny tech entrepreneur seems to work, too, from what I’ve heard.
I’m returning your photo. You’ll notice it’s just the dresser and newspaper. I slipped on a pair of scissors when I was putting it in the envelope.
Take care.
George
Fans at COH:
Dear ladies of Clooney’s Open House:
Thanks for the gift and well wishes. I think I have the best fans in the world. However, I’m not going to be home much for a while, and Amal hasn’t had any kind of sugar in a year, so we’re giving your Fruit of the Month gift subscription to Save the Children. It won’t go to waste. I hear they know how to feed a kid on 15 cents a day. I don’t know what that comes to in peaches, but every little bit helps. Hope you don’t mind us being re-gifters.
Thanks for all your support. I barely noticed which usernames were missing from the card.
Truly,
George Clooney
Dear
Thank you so much for the thoughtful gift. It is especially considerate since you weren’t able to come to the wedding. Amal and I completely understand that it fell on the same day as golf and the Beyonce concert. I really appreciate the signed copy of the United States Enemies List. I didn’t know it really existed, or that Julian Assange was on it. I’m trying to talk Amal into placing it on the mantle, but she thinks it clashes. She sends her gratitude also. What she actually said was “Thanks a lot, Mr. and Mrs. Leader of the Free World. Just what I needed.” She wanted to write you herself, but she has a case to prepare for. We hope you understand.
We look forward to you visiting us in Italy after 2016. I do, anyway. Amal thinks she’s busy that week.
Sincerely,
George
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler:
Hi, ladies. Ha ha. You got me. Really funny. Must have been a lot of trouble to have the mock Golden Globe award made. Engraving it “Actor with the Most Extreme Reaction to a Joke at an Awards Show” was an inspired touch. I got a good laugh out of it. Amal hasn’t seen it yet, maybe because I keep it in the trunk of Angela’s car, inside the spare tire compartment. Amal might not get the joke. Lebanese Brits aren’t known for their raucous sense of humor.
If this were the old days, I’d vow revenge. But I’m a changed man now. So I’ll just enjoy the laugh.
Just in case, though, leave the kids at home when you go jogging, okay?
Love always,
George
The Boys:
You always know just what I need. Thanks for the copy of 101 Conversation Starters. Seriously. You don’t know how much I need it. Getting it in hardcover was the way to go. It’s already wearing out. This sounds bad, but if there’s a real cease-fire in the Middle East, I’m fucked. So thanks again. I probably won’t see you until around Christmas or New Year’s because, well, you know.
George
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie:
Brad and Angie,
Thanks for the leather-bound dictionary. It’s lovely. Amal thinks it’s a collector’s item. But I was thumbing through it while she was sleeping, and I saw where you highlighted “humanitarian.” I’m going to let it go, because we’re friends, and frankly (between you and me) I get it. I’ll just keep it in the kitchen. Amal hardly ever goes in there.
Best,
George
Monika Jakisic:
Monika,
Listen, this has to stop. I intercepted your “gift.” Not cool. A picture of you naked in my bedroom holding up a newspaper from last October isn’t a wedding present. And you know the rules: No fucking cameras in my house. Don’t let me have to pull out the non-disclosure agreement. Stan will be all over your ass like… well, like a lot a people have been. But it’s time for you to move on. Find a nice Croatian man who’ll be impressed by your semi-celebrity and settle down. A horny tech entrepreneur seems to work, too, from what I’ve heard.
I’m returning your photo. You’ll notice it’s just the dresser and newspaper. I slipped on a pair of scissors when I was putting it in the envelope.
Take care.
George
Fans at COH:
Dear ladies of Clooney’s Open House:
Thanks for the gift and well wishes. I think I have the best fans in the world. However, I’m not going to be home much for a while, and Amal hasn’t had any kind of sugar in a year, so we’re giving your Fruit of the Month gift subscription to Save the Children. It won’t go to waste. I hear they know how to feed a kid on 15 cents a day. I don’t know what that comes to in peaches, but every little bit helps. Hope you don’t mind us being re-gifters.
Thanks for all your support. I barely noticed which usernames were missing from the card.
Truly,
George Clooney
Way2Old4Dis- Mastering the tao of Clooney
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melbert- George Clooney fan forever!
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Way2Old4Dis wrote:Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie:
Brad and Angie,
Thanks for the leather-bound dictionary. It’s lovely. Amal thinks it’s a collector’s item. But I was thumbing through it while she was sleeping, and I saw where you highlighted “humanitarian.” I’m going to let it go, because we’re friends, and frankly (between you and me) I get it. I’ll just keep it in the kitchen. Amal hardly ever goes in there.
Best,
George
This is the one where I spit out my drink onto my fairly new computer that I got on six easy payments from QVC. And I still owe two payments! Thanks, thanks a lot!
LornaDoone- Moderator
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
He he heeee. Too funny .
amaretti- Training to be Mrs Clooney?
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
you great in imagination!!
it's me- George Clooney fan forever!
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Maggy- Totally loving George Clooney
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Thaks Way2old4dis...this is tooooooo funny.....I love the Monica part
Nicky80- Casamigos with Mr Clooney
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Yay....Very witty Way2.
Joanna- George Clooney fan forever!
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Oh god, that's funny! A million thanks for the laughs.
Katiedot- Admin
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
You Rock!!
PigPen- Mastering the tao of Clooney
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Yes thanks for the giggles .
amaretti- Training to be Mrs Clooney?
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
That's beautiful thanks for the laugh!
The one of Barack and Michelle killed me.
The one of Barack and Michelle killed me.
Doug Ross- Ooh, Mr Clooney!
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Brilliant, Way2........a book maybe?
party animal - not!- George Clooney fan forever!
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Way2 - as usual, you dazzle - loved the Monica note
theminis- Moderator
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Location : Oz
Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Thanks, everybody. I was just shaking the cobwebs after a few intense work days. Glad you enjoyed it. I'm resisting the urge to correct my typos. Just for fun, after all.
Way2Old4Dis- Mastering the tao of Clooney
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Re: George Writes 'Thank You' Notes
Really funny W2O4D.You got a talent for comedy.
Silje- More than a little bit enthusiastic about Clooney
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