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How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

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How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Katiedot on Mon Jan 13 2014, 11:28

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How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

BY SARAH HAMDAN Saturday, 11 January 2014

He told you from the start he doesn’t want a big commitment or marriage - what’s a girl to do?

You know the drill. In fact, we're willing to bet you or your best friend have been through it: you’re in a relationship with an amazing, gorgeous, smart, funny, financially secure, fun traveller – a dream guy. You laugh together and rarely fight. You even like his mother (sure, you only met her that one time... well, talked to her on the phone... well, her voice sounded nice when you picked up his phone by accident). Now, you’re ready for the next step. But before you start dropping hints about marriage and kids and the summer home you’d like to eventually own together in the Greek islands, you’ve already got a dilemma on your hands. He’s told you from the early days of your relationship that he’s just “not into that stuff, not a commitment kinda guy.” Now what?

We saw it happen to Stacy Keibler when she started dating the inimitable George Clooney. As their budding romance blossomed, we wanted to shout out to her - Didn’t you see what happened to Elisabetta Canalis before you? And Renee Zellweger and the other string of beautiful, financially independent, lovely women that George Clooney dated before you? They wanted children, a marriage, a home, stability – some form of commitment – but he didn’t. He was clear about it from the start. Meanwhile, she thought she wanted something temporary and fun, then changed her mind. Or maybe she hoped he would change his during their romantic trips to Europe, the Caribbean, and film sets around the world. And yet, the inevitable happens – they break up.

Yes, it’s impossible to know what happens between two people who are in a relationship, but having a talk early on about big issues is very important to avoid a painful parting or big fights down the line. If you know from day one that the man you are with does not want to have children, but you definitely want them in the future, it’s better to know sooner rather than later, right?

This is the approach Elena Jakovich took when she moved to Dubai as a flight attendant in 2005 from Bosnia. She met Steven on her first month in the city, at a party in an art gallery at DIFC, and soon they were meeting up every other day and talking frequently. Two months into their whirlwind romance, she asked him what his relationship goals were, and was disappointed when he told her that he was not interested in marriage. He was falling for her and could see her in his future, but marriage was out of the question as his parents had married and divorced one another twice – too much drama for Steven.

“I had a choice at this point, I could walk away, or I could stay with this incredible person and show him that a good relationship can lead to a good marriage,” said Elena.

Two years into the relationship, Steven started acting distant and saying he felt pressure, even though Elena was careful not to mention the M word around him. Soon enough, they drifted apart.

Years after the break-up, Elena was up front about what she wanted from a relationship when she met Daniel. She enjoyed spending time with him and they shared a silly sense of humour, so a couple of months into their relationship, she asked him about his goals before getting in too deep. Daniel was on the same page about a lot of important factors for Elena – faith, a small family, a desire to stay in Dubai long-term, marriage to the right partner – so it gave their relationship a chance to deepen and they are now engaged.

“Talking about big issues is crucial, so neither of you wastes time,” said Elena. “It also helps you realize what’s important to you in your partner.”

This is easier said than done for many women, relationship experts admit. It can feel awkward or ‘too soon’ to talk about serious topics in the early days of a relationship, but it’s better to bring deal-breakers to the light sooner rather than later.

Want to avoid getting Clooney-ed?
Here are VIVA’s top tips based on advice from relationship experts!

What are you looking for in a relationship? You don’t have to talk about your goals and hopes right after ordering your main course during your first date. After you’ve gotten to know one another and established that you enjoy each other’s company – and before it gets serious – it’s in your best interest to talk about your goals, according to relationship coach Marni Battista, [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Maybe he’s recently broken up with someone and is not ready to get into another relationship, or maybe he’s focused on work and finances before settling down – these are all things he can share with you, so you can decide if you want to move forward. If he says he is interested in marriage and looking to commit to the right partner, it’s a good base.

Money, money, money. It can be awkward to talk finances before things get serious, but this is a key topic that couples often tackle too late. Does he want you to maintain financial independence and chip in on the rent – and does that suit you? Does he prefer that you not work anymore – does that suit you? Is he a spender or a saver? Figuring out your opinion on money will make it easier to deal with big money issues in the future.

Baby talk. Again, before getting in too deep, it’s good to have an idea of how many little ones you would both like in the future. Does he want a soccer team and you only want to go through pregnancy and labour once? This is a key issue that people often don’t budge on. It’s a good idea to know how big you would like your family to be, so your interests for the future are aligned.

You have to be able to communicate well with a partner and talk about awkward or difficult issues – early on and later as a relationship matures. To avoid getting stuck in Clooney’s web, you must pay attention to his actions. Here are some red flags to watch out for:

1. He’s said from day one that he’s not interested in marriage or children. Relationship expert Evan Marc Katz says on his blog [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] that if you do want these things in a relationship, then don’t stick around in the hopes that he’ll change his mind.

2. He hasn’t introduced you to family or friends after some time together. He’ll have great excuses (I want you all to myself, that’s all babe! But this weekend I’m busy.)

3. He only calls when he wants to see you – sometimes days or weeks pass, or maybe he never calls you during the weekend, but just meets up casually during the week.

4. You’ve been together for years, but he still doesn’t want to take it to the next step.

5. He can be charming and romantic, but will avoid talking about or planning a future.

Katiedot
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by it's me on Mon Jan 13 2014, 11:38

this is interesting

but I want to say
'normal' marriages broke every day
among famous ppl even more often

let's getting alone the why and the how they more than others

I only want to say
the marriage thing is a really
really serious one

the sooner you got it
the better all will be

so
better no joking around it

it's me
George Clooney fan forever!

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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by What Would He Say on Mon Jan 13 2014, 12:27

Some of you know I have been doing in depth research in to online dating.

To be honest I think it will be the way of the future...

As technology improves at it's breathless pace, I can see a time where we log on, and a list of images appears of suitable ppl for us to be with, along with matching allergies, suitable blood groups, same books read, countries you have been to, and matching countries you both aspire to go to, you name it.

I read recently how NETFLIX have come up with a programme that can predict what you will want/like to watch ... and show it as recommendations (like Amazon does)..so why not a mate.

Years ago in my neck of the woods we had "Match Makers".  In our modern age I grew up poo pooing such a thing, although in my Nana's days she would reel off a list of happy matches. Still, to me so old fashioned omg no, not on your nelly!

In 20 years time ppl will think we were MAD to hook up with someone in a bar, or whereever, without the benifit of analgorithm, to stop this Clooney-ed effect.

Don't you think it would be cool to cook a meal knowing you both hate cabbage, and Barcelona isn't all it's cracked up to be....

What Would He Say
Clooney-love. And they said it wouldn't last

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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Joanna on Mon Jan 13 2014, 13:04

One problem wwhs about online profiles....
Is there a "telling the truth button" to expose
the liars....the fantasists.....the delusional ??

It's difficult enough to know when you're chatting
face to face with a stranger that they are being honest.
I'd imagine 100% more difficult online.
I know I'm stating the obvious but it's something to be wary of.
I don't know the answer to sussing out the online phonies !

Are there any "dining in clubs" for singles where you all meet for dinner and a "getting to know you" evening locally ? I know ladies who've done that and they say it's fun.

Joanna
George Clooney fan forever!

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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Pari on Mon Jan 13 2014, 13:40

what would he say wrote:Some of you know I have been doing in depth research in to online dating.

To be honest I think it will be the way of the future...

As technology improves at it's breathless pace, I can see a time where we log on, and a list of images appears of suitable ppl for us to be with, along with matching allergies, suitable blood groups, same books read, countries you have been to, and matching countries you both aspire to go to, you name it.

..

I will go with Joanna's note on this...

(I am removing the situation I shared here earlier... so sorry what-would-he-say... I realize it did not directly contribute to the thread's topic...  I love you )


Last edited by Pari on Mon Jan 13 2014, 20:56; edited 3 times in total

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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Pari on Mon Jan 13 2014, 13:43

About being "Clooney-ed"... and with the Golden Globes "joke" on George today... I pray Brand George Clooney will be blessed with a wondrous transfiguration of sorts --- soon!

Pari
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by What Would He Say on Mon Jan 13 2014, 15:14

@Pari & Jo

Thanks girls, I really mean it. Your concern is simply "heart warming" to me...so thank you again.

Pari, you poor darling! what you have been through makes you a true pioneer in this arena ... And they say we are blessed who make mistakes because we learn so much from them, and you are kind enough to share with me. I love you 

BUT, I really feel that in the future all these problems will be ironed out by technology, in time. With iris recognition and many other advances to come, unknown and unimagined by us now, will arrive a new way of finding love...

10 even 5 years ago online shopping was thought of as a little weird. Who would buy an important dress off the web, with all that could go wrong... then everything was ironed out bit by bit secure sites (parcel motel ect). I just think we are living through a great time of change... Those of you with Children must wonder what kind of world your Grandchildren will inherit ... I think this will be policed and over time made safe, it will take time, but it will come.

xxx


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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by it's me on Mon Jan 13 2014, 20:44

Pari wrote:About being "Clooney-ed"... and with the Golden Globes "joke" on George today... I pray Brand George Clooney will be blessed with a wondrous transfiguration of sorts --- soon!

 cheers Thumbs up! 

it's me
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Pari on Mon Jan 13 2014, 20:58

what would he say wrote:...

Pari, you poor darling! what you have been through makes you a true pioneer in this arena ... And they say we are blessed who make mistakes because we learn so much from them, and you are kind enough to share with me. I love you 
....

Thanks again what-would-he-say... "a true pioneer in this arena ..." did make me smile Smile Also because it continues to happen in some other fields/areas/spheres/situations... haven't gotten over the ailment I have I guess Smile

I accept that everything, the people, the situations were each a blessing Smile I still feel love for those involved, just that I am certain I have more work over myself Smile

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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by it's me on Mon Jan 13 2014, 21:00

and yes WWHS
online dating is common these days
but I surely prefer
the face to face thing


it's me
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Carla97 on Mon Jan 13 2014, 21:02

Well I agree with wwhs, online dating is trending. I don´t know what it´s like as I have never been interested in it.

Sometimes the problem can be that what you want and do not want is the same thing.

Carla97
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by it's me on Mon Jan 13 2014, 21:04

interesting

example?

it's me
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Pari on Mon Jan 13 2014, 21:08

Thanks It's me...  I love you 

Pari
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Carla97 on Mon Jan 13 2014, 21:24

Example? Could be many... when you feel you need and want something, but not everything that entails. Difficult to explain...

Carla97
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by it's me on Mon Jan 13 2014, 21:30

hmm
the cherry without the pit?

it's me
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Carla97 on Mon Jan 13 2014, 21:31

Yes I like cherries.  Smile 

Carla97
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Katiedot on Tue Jan 14 2014, 03:13

what would he say wrote:I read recently how NETFLIX have come up with a programme that can predict what you will want/like to watch ... and show it as recommendations (like Amazon does)..so why not a mate.
And right there is your explanation for why that's not going to work. Amazon 'recommends' completely irrelevant stuff to me all the time.

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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by playfuldeb on Tue Jan 14 2014, 04:23

Not sure why the media makes such a big thing out of George's personal life. There are many celebs who have never married; Al Pacino, Diane Keaton, Cameron Diaz, Leonardo DiCaprio.

And then there are quite a few celebrity relationships that have lasted years without the marraige certificate; Oprah, Kurt Russell-Goldie Hawn, Jon Hamm-Jennifer Westfeldt.

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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by LornaDoone on Tue Jan 14 2014, 04:36

Katiedot wrote:
what would he say wrote:I read recently how NETFLIX have come up with a programme that can predict what you will want/like to watch ... and show it as recommendations (like Amazon does)..so why not a mate.
 And right there is your explanation for why that's not going to work.  Amazon 'recommends' completely irrelevant stuff to me all the time.

LMAO!!

As to online dating, I'm with Joanna. How can you be sure the person isn't lying. Of course, when you think about it, you could be lied to face to face there are some people who are very good at that.

I mean is that profile photo really the face of the person with whom you're conversing online or is it the picture of someone totally different? Or perhaps it is the person but the picture is from 20 years earlier!

The article makes good points. Better to talk about the important things sooner than later. Cause staying with someone who doesn't have the same relationship goals as you is just asking for heartache.


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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by it's me on Tue Jan 14 2014, 12:24

there is also Skype
live chat and similar

no?

it's me
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by What Would He Say on Tue Jan 14 2014, 12:36

I don't know much about programming and why sites do and don't work ...but from what I can see, dating sites could learn from Amazon and eBay, you can always learn .... I think the simple addition of a FEEDBACK BUTTON on dating sites would do the trick...ppl can be vicious, so just a star system like eBay  should do the trick: Accurate description of good, rate 1* to 5* .....? What do you think? 

If George turned up, one can only imagine his feedback score.... Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven 

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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by it's me on Tue Jan 14 2014, 12:58

LOOL

but you also need feedback on the feedbackers
 Suspect  - does it exist?-
it can be a no end thing
long chain!!

anyway
good idea!  Thumbs up! it's like an "like" on fb?

it's me
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by Carla97 on Tue Jan 14 2014, 13:10

Come on people! Skype is for kids and I don´t for who the fakebook is. Laughing  There are more appealing online things than dating (rarely lives up to anyone´s expectations anyhow, so I`ve heard users comments...), or shopping.

Why don´t you take an online course? Who among us couldn’t benefit from knowing more about real estate and contract law, accounting, marketing, child psychology, food science or mandarin chinese (native language for a billion already)?

Have a cup of green tea, add manuka honey and some fresh ginger in it and think about this.

It´s detox (spiritual & physical) January. So no Paleo dates, only Paleo diet....

(A bit bored here, I better stop trading, posting, emailing for the day  Rolling Eyes but of course I have my old stiga ready if the market builds good sled hill today  Laughing out loud )

Carla97
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by it's me on Tue Jan 14 2014, 13:14

online course
nice idea!

it's me
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Re: How to Avoid Getting Clooney-ed

Post by NotAvailable on Tue Jan 14 2014, 13:58

Well, you know, there have been several interesting interviews George has done where he said, he's not against marriage, but isn't thinking about it. Sounds like he isn't as dead set against it. So maybe when and IF he does meet up with the person he feels right with, he may try it again.

Um, thinking tho that its too hard to come back from the reasons that made him feel that way... even tho there are recent articles about him asking why women won't believe him about not wanting to get married, if it were real, it would be flying into the face of his interviews on not being dead set against it.

But he also stated that aside from his interviews, all the media gossips and other stories, are all fabrications. That more lies have been interwoven into so called real stories that it turns them into untruths also. Pure fabrication. And its what he and his publicist will always say too, as its usually the truth.

So on this issue, I think we can safely stick more to the Not getting married thing. Because he isn't thinking about doing that, regardless of the reasons.

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