touchy subject matter

i was an extra in ides of march and ever since then i was on a slow decline and was hospitalized three times in one summer in 2012. still to this day i am scarred beyond repair all thanks to being an extra on the set of HIS movie. he ruined me. he is not a good man. i still post here because i do still really like him even though he hurt me. i guess it is a lot like women who stay with the man who battered them. i can not explain how because it is complicated but he has hurt me. not physically or sexually but emotionally. You can post back on this thread if you want but i can't really answer any questions about it. I thought that i am ready to share finally because i have worked though so much of my pain andi am opening up more and more every day.
thank you for reading if you did and please do not belittle or call me names over this this is a tough and touchy subject. i just posted because i wanted to share my experience.

Thanks

I'm really sorry to hear this, vv.

I wish there were something constructive I could do to help you. As it is, all I can do is send my prayers and best wishes for healing.

Katiedot wrote:I'm really sorry to hear this, vv.

I wish there were something constructive I could do to help you. As it is, all I can do is send my prayers and best wishes for healing.

Thank you Katie. That means a lot to me. Please pray for me

Vera, I wish you the best too.

Take good care and be good to yourself.

Maggy wrote:Vera, I wish you the best too.

Take good care and be good to yourself.

Maggy and Katie - thank you for your well-wishes. it has been a hard road but i have made a lot of improvement. i suffered severe weight loss ( i was eating and still losing )and now i am slightly over weight. I had several issues and most are solved now. I am still going through some issues but am improving.
thanks again

God Bless Vera take it one day at a time, my prayers are also with you.

Mazy wrote:God Bless Vera take it one day at a time, my prayers are also with you.

Hang in there Vera!!

janieb wrote:Hang in there Vera!!

See a go od therapist to get your life back into balance !

Sorry to hear of you troubles---Be Well!

silly girl wrote:Sorry to hear of you troubles---Be Well!

thanks

Atalante wrote:See a go od therapist to get your life back into balance !

I've been seeing a therapist. for quite some time now.

Thank you mazy, janie and SG! thanks for the very nice well-wishes

Somebody brought up being stabbed in the back and yes, i got stabbed in the back. My back still hurts

I'm curious, because I remember how happy you were after being on set and sending out pics of you in your pink sweater. How, now, do you find that he scarred you just by being a background actor on his set? Feel free to be open with me; I've been background on sets and I understand the ropes.

I saw one of your wall posts about this matter on a Clooney Facebook page I stumbled upon yesterday, very vera. (Recognised you from the photo & from your real name under a poem you wrote in the LOVE LOVE LOVE thread here.) I just had another look at the thread. Someone called Pari is even complimenting your imdB page.

Well, I hope you feel better. You seem very positive.

Dear Very Vera:

I very rarely visit here and have posted less than a handful of times. Today is one of the rare days when I decided to stop by and moreso, an even rarer day, because I decided to post. Why? Because of you Very Vera.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I am writing this as if you were my best friend, with compassion; compassion for someone who is trying to sort something out and heal and be well again.

Whatever happened to you as an extra is an "experience", albiet an unpleasant one. I don't know the details of it because you haven't expressed them, but from what you have expressed it was very traumatic for you, and perhaps rightfully so.

Remember something Very Vera, no one person no matter who they are can have the power over you to "ruin" you. You are not, and will never be "beyond repair". Obviously this "experience" you had as an extra hurt you deeply, but not so "beyond repair".

Life is full of experiences. Everything in life is an experience, no matter what it is. The older you get the more you experience.

Everything in life also has a "balance". Positive and negative. You wouldn't know happy unless you experienced sad. You wouldn't know love unless you experienced hate. You wouldn't know one unless you experienced the other. When you experience the negative, the less pleasant you need to balance it by removing it, and the result of that, the positive, is that much sweeter.

When you hand over the power of "yourself" to someone else, they thus, in turn, have the power and control over you and your emotions. This is basicially, IMHO what you have done. And this is what you are holding on to. This is your baggage, your burden.

Remember in the movie "Up In The Air", GC was the guy who spoke about "removing your baggage". This is so true in many aspects of life's experiences - "letting go". It isn't easy, but remember the "balance". What you are doing is holding onto this baggage that is "weighing you down". The scales are imbalanced. They are tipped in favor of the negative. You haven't let it go, so that the scales can be balanced once again and tipped in your favor.

You have been hospitalized and are in therapy. Why? There is probably nothing wrong with you! You just simply had a bad experience. The more you believe that this experience has "ruined" you, the more it will. It is only what you believe.

GC is human, yet many idolize him as a god of sorts. Your experienced as an extra brings him back down to earth, that in fact, he is not the be all and end all. He is not a god who is perfect. He is merely a mortal as you and I and everyone else.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing your experience as an extra here. From the brief visits here, I get the impression that people here would want to help you rather than hurt you. It isn't their intention.

Get it whatever it is that has burdened you for so long out in the open. "Lighten up your load". Get rid of the "baggage". Balance out the scales and tip the scales in your favor. Tell your story and perhaps everyone here will help you rewrite the story so it has a "happy ending".

Cynisca wrote:I saw one of your wall posts about this matter on a Clooney Facebook page I stumbled upon yesterday, very vera. (Recognised you from the photo & from your real name under a poem you wrote in the LOVE LOVE LOVE thread here.) I just had another look at the thread. Someone called Pari is even complimenting your imdB page.

Well, I hope you feel better. You seem very positive.

WOW!! Thank you Cynisca!! that means a lot to me coming from you because i love your posts on here a lot. you seem very smart so thank you very much. I din't even know pari looked at my page. that really rocks. thank you.( who knows who is out there looking at my page maybe even steven speilberg, okay now i am daydreaming I know)

@k.a.kadoodle
Everything in life also has a "balance". Positive and negative. You wouldn't know happy unless you experienced sad. You wouldn't know love unless you experienced hate. You wouldn't know one unless you experienced the other. When you experience the negative, the less pleasant you need to balance it by removing it, and the result of that, the positive, is that much sweeter.

I can say with absolute certainy I have NEVER HATED anyone not even Osama Bin Laden, yet sometimes I will say, "I hate this ketchup" but before the last couple of years, I would have NEVER even used the term HATE, not LIKE STRONGLY, or DON'T CARE FOR, all the time but HATE I have always tried to not use... but this summer I said it out loud and immediately apologized to God for it...

yet your explanation above made me realize why I have not yet....? ever really been in love..... thank you and I pray Very Vera you can take k's advice and feel the love coming through to HELP and nurse your spirit back to a good balance!

kid.a.kadoodles wrote:Dear Very Vera:

I very rarely visit here and have posted less than a handful of times. Today is one of the rare days when I decided to stop by and moreso, an even rarer day, because I decided to post. Why? Because of you Very Vera.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I am writing this as if you were my best friend, with compassion; compassion for someone who is trying to sort something out and heal and be well again.

Whatever happened to you as an extra is an "experience", albiet an unpleasant one. I don't know the details of it because you haven't expressed them, but from what you have expressed it was very traumatic for you, and perhaps rightfully so.

Remember something Very Vera, no one person no matter who they are can have the power over you to "ruin" you. You are not, and will never be "beyond repair". Obviously this "experience" you had as an extra hurt you deeply, but not so "beyond repair".

Life is full of experiences. Everything in life is an experience, no matter what it is. The older you get the more you experience.

Everything in life also has a "balance". Positive and negative. You wouldn't know happy unless you experienced sad. You wouldn't know love unless you experienced hate. You wouldn't know one unless you experienced the other. When you experience the negative, the less pleasant you need to balance it by removing it, and the result of that, the positive, is that much sweeter.

When you hand over the power of "yourself" to someone else, they thus, in turn, have the power and control over you and your emotions. This is basicially, IMHO what you have done. And this is what you are holding on to. This is your baggage, your burden.

Remember in the movie "Up In The Air", GC was the guy who spoke about "removing your baggage". This is so true in many aspects of life's experiences - "letting go". It isn't easy, but remember the "balance". What you are doing is holding onto this baggage that is "weighing you down". The scales are imbalanced. They are tipped in favor of the negative. You haven't let it go, so that the scales can be balanced once again and tipped in your favor.

You have been hospitalized and are in therapy. Why? There is probably nothing wrong with you! You just simply had a bad experience. The more you believe that this experience has "ruined" you, the more it will. It is only what you believe.

GC is human, yet many idolize him as a god of sorts. Your experienced as an extra brings him back down to earth, that in fact, he is not the be all and end all. He is not a god who is perfect. He is merely a mortal as you and I and everyone else.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing your experience as an extra here. From the brief visits here, I get the impression that people here would want to help you rather than hurt you. It isn't their intention.

Get it whatever it is that has burdened you for so long out in the open. "Lighten up your load". Get rid of the "baggage". Balance out the scales and tip the scales in your favor. Tell your story and perhaps everyone here will help you rewrite the story so it has a "happy ending".

thanks for such a long and very well thought out thread for me, kid. i am glad you reached out to me. I agree with every thing you said. you may be right after all. I only disagreed with you about one little thing. i was IN THE HOSPITAL. rarely do people go to the hospital when there is nothing wrong. i was 89 pounds. i was severely underweight. i was eating steadily and could not hold on any weight. i was severely depressed and had a lot of anxiety.

but thank you i will consider everything you have said.

Dear Very Vera:

Then it is obvious that something is "eatting away at you". We are a very weird group of humans, aren't we?

weird ... weird me.. i'm not weird LOL

seriously, after being in the hospital i am now slightly overweight but happy about it. thanks again, Kid

I'm sorry about the illness you've experienced. Now if you can give me a hint on how you managed to gain the weight back and became overweight I'd be very grateful. I lost 30 pounds because of stress and I've been trying to gain the weight back and haven't read any helpful advice. There's so many products on the market to lose weight but nothing to gain. Thanks.

Ahh one of my best friends actually. it's called the pancake diet LOL.
really, instead of eating eggs and/or toast i go for the higher carbs.
french toast is good. and eat closer to bed time but still exercise or the added weight will go where you don't want it too. i like to go walking. don't do high impact though go for walks or if you like to dance like myself try that too

Thanks - well french toast it is for me tomorrow morning.

make it yourself too oh and if you live near a mcdonalds eat a big mac
but only occasionally. don't forget to exercise

Chocolate is a pretty good thing to gain weight. Chocolate in the evening and in the morning and in between,a little piece here and there...
Just bought some almond chocolate, eating right now

okay I'm a little weird i admit it... i don't care for plain chocolate. Hot chocolate, choclate pie and cake i like but just chocolate with nothing with it nah.. I am weird

A chaque fou sa marotte...

Dior, you've ruined my day! Had to give up chocolate a year and a half ago. It was giving me migraines. I loved chocolate and giving it up was like friends of mine who've given up cigarettes. But those headaches were horrible.

All right, we're going very off topic here.

what was the topic?

Personally think the beauty of chocolate is a much better topic anyways!

i gave you the greenie, oof. i have gotten a lot of very nice responses to my issue and i immensely appreciate it. There are some very nice people here. Some are some are not but that happens everywhere with a big group of people but the ones who posted such wonderful messages for me have all helped me so i really thank you quite a bit. i was forum hopping for a little while but i think i will park here for now. i have time to spend on here for a little bit ( it's half-time and i am staying up for the lakers/heat game). thanks again Open House

LET'S TALK CHOCOLATE BABAY!! Chocolate pie, cake, even chocolate on George hmm ( or anyone else we may really like... (Eminem is yummy too) anyway i won't go there on a George Clooney Forum LOL

I know this not the same thing, but I met comedienne Vicki Lawrence once and she was nothing like I expected. Her personality on stage and tv was very different than in real life, and I walked away from that experience not being a fan anymore. It happens sometimes. We have impossible expectations particularly if they are defined by our own fantisies. I have met George before, and he was awesome. I spoke to him and I am still his biggest fan. Sorry people, but I am! Yet, I know how you feel when a celebrity is different from your own expectations. It is hurtful and disappointing, but in my case, I just rubbed it off my shoulder and let it go. Maybe you need to distant yourself from Clooney fandom for a while, atleast until you can accept that he is human and can be a disappointment like we can be disappointments to others too. Anyway, keep your chin up. I bet ever GC has been disappointed by a celebrity.

Also, if you need to be reminded how human GC can be, remember he starred in that snoozefest The Good German. Woof!

George can be quite the charmer...From experience, but that's all he gets I'm still pissed off about the stupid video...
well one more then that's it...

Very Vera, I know George was having issues himself during the filming most of the time he isn't a jerk...

phys major wrote:George can be quite the charmer...From experience, but that's all he gets I'm still pissed off about the stupid video...
well one more then that's it...

Very Vera, I know George was having issues himself during the filming most of the time he isn't a jerk...

Hey, phys major, I really believe that George was having issues during the filming. Wasn't this the same year that he and Betta broke up? People don't just "break-up" overnight; it takes a rather long period before that happens. So, yes, George may have been having issues at that time, and maybe he was not he usual polite self. But, don't take it personally. Hey, I consider myself as being a kind, considerate person, but hey, I have my crap days too. So, here's to my crap days.

Among other things...But I am not negating the fact that Very Vera was emotionally harmed herself..Stress can certainly harm you mentally...I'm sure he didn't mean to harm anyone..Then again I don't know the whole situation....

Love your avatar KTSue. And welcome to COH !

[the following posts have been moved from another thread to this one - katiedot]

yes this man is a cruel man. he is not the saint you think he is

Any one in their right mind can't think that George Clooney is a saint !
He's just a man. Period.

But he's a talented creative man with many successful films
under his belt.
He's a man who has succeeded in his professional life and has generously given help and encouragement to those starting out in the same profession.

He's also a very interesting person to watch for this particular pleb
who's old enough to be his mother !

and also very cruel!!

very vera wrote:yes this man is a cruel man. he is not the saint you think he is

I do not think it is absolutely a cruel man, but it seems to me a man who gave in to the feelings, he no longer seeks love, but looking for a partner who does not agree, he goes when he wants and when there is a he serves ...... This is sad, especially when I think Stacy and his 30 years old that knows no bounds in love but she semba accept this with a smile or stupid or very clever and ambitious!

I think that Timothy (George Clooney) is not a cruel man .... I think the women he had ever .... Opportunities are addicted and just want him to be on the side to make a career.
He should look for a woman who is not in the film business.

very vera wrote:yes this man is a cruel man. he is not the saint you think he is

You really should explain such a scathing statement, don't you think vera?

theminis wrote:

very vera wrote:yes this man is a cruel man. he is not the saint you think he is

You really should explain such a scathing statement, don't you think vera?

HE PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL I POSTED IT IN THE THREAD TOUCHY SUBJECT MATTER