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JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by theminis on Sat May 03 2014, 03:29


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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Sat May 03 2014, 14:18














Subject: GRANDPA'S NEW I-PAD


This is good!!! It’s in German (I think) but you can certainly get the picture!!!!


Here's an example of what happens when the young ones give gifts of
technology to the out of touch old ones!
A Daughter is visiting her father. She asks: Tell me dad, how are you managing with the new iPad we gave you for your birthday?

Click here - http://www.snotr.com/video/8965/



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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Sun May 04 2014, 19:10


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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Sun May 04 2014, 19:12


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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Carla97 on Sun May 04 2014, 21:38

Looks like a list of movies, think again...

I don´t know where they got their names,
it is a list of farts.


The Great Escape
Touch of Evil
A Little Night Music
Apocapypse. Now.
Gone with the wind
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
There will be blood
Herbie Fully Loaded
Fast and furious
Krakatoa: Volcano of Destruction
Leathal weapon
Scent of a woman
Die hard
Raging bull
Girl interrupted
What Lies Beneath
Deep impact
Saving Grace
Some Like It Hot
A Shout Into the Wind
The Silent Scream
Cry Freedom
The Quiet Ones
Across The Universe
Perfume
What Women Want
Blast from the past
Gone in Sixty Seconds
Chocolat
Thunderball
Up in the air
 Shocked 

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Tue May 06 2014, 15:21

I thought that this linked up very nicely
with your post above Carla ?

 lol! 


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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by LornaDoone on Mon May 12 2014, 02:54

Watching News Bloopers.  One guy who is in Rochester New York, made a comment about the weather that made me LOL!

"I compare winter to be the Justin Bieber of seasons.  It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out.  Now it's a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada."


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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Tue May 13 2014, 22:30


Life Cycle


At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is having friends.

At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.

At age 35 success is having money.

At age 50 success is having money.

At age 60 success is having sex.

At age 70 success is having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is having friends.

At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

It all comes full circle, whether you like it or not



















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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Thu May 15 2014, 20:02

MESSAGES FROM AIR FLIGHT CONTROL

=========================

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles "
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

=========================

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
"Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

=========================

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747:
"United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock , three miles,
Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little
Fokker in sight."

=========================

A DC-10 had come in a little fast and thus had an exceedingly long roll out
after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of
the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit
off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

=========================

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard
the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English.
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane,
in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because
you lost the bloody war."

=========================

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.
The DC-8 landed, rolled out turned around, and taxied back past
the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What
a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real
zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts.
Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

==========================

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight
departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a
United 727.
An irate female ATC ground controller lashed out at the US Air
crew, screaming:
"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto
Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's
difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it
right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting
hysterically:
"God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out!
You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to!
You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I
want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how tell you!
You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent
after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging
the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.

Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then, an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone,
asking, "Wasn't I married to you once?"




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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Thu May 15 2014, 20:13

Thanks patty, brilliant.
My hubby and my cousin are plane freaks, 
they'll love those !

 Coolio

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Sat May 17 2014, 18:16

Subject: Psychiatrist vs. Bartender?



EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT
NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:

I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.
I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.

Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to me
three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.

How much do you charge?
Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.

I'll sleep on it, I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street. Why didn't you come to see
me about those fears you were having? He asked.

Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.
A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money
that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.

Is that so? With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a
bartender cure you?

He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.

FORGET THE SHRINKS..
HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO A BARTENDER!
IT"S ALWAYS BETTER TO GET A SECOND OPINION



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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Sat May 17 2014, 19:09

Sofa bounce .....great one patty !!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by LornaDoone on Sat May 17 2014, 22:29

funny patty!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Carla97 on Mon May 19 2014, 11:47

Wondering why you want to get married?
Or worst,
why your other half does?  Smile 

"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.
“This is the Klopman diamond,” she said. “It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it.”
“What’s the curse?” the man asked.
“Mr. Klopman.”

Stewardess: I’m sorry, Mr. Smith, but we left your wife behind in London.
Mr. Smith: Thank goodness! I thought I was going deaf!

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, ‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’ The other replied, ‘Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.’

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

I haven’t spoken to my Mother-In-Law for eighteen months, I don’t like to interrupt her.


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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by it's me on Mon May 19 2014, 12:22

loooool !!!  Laughing 

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Mon May 19 2014, 20:06


Atalante are you here ??

http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_commercials/a_quiet_square_in_belgium.shtml

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by it's me on Mon May 19 2014, 20:17

drama!!! Bullet stop 

(never used that smile before!!  pirat )

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Carla97 on Tue May 20 2014, 08:58

Good one the drama LOL

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Tue May 20 2014, 23:36

Investment Advice

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago,
you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would
have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago,
you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all
the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund,
you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink
heavily & recycle.

It is called the 401-Keg.

And as a bonus...

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a
year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of
alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41
miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be an American!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Sun May 25 2014, 12:54

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter. 


The man at the counter asked the older boy, 
"Son, how old are you?" 
"Eight," the boy replied. 
The man continued, 
"do you know what these are used for?" 


The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. 
He's my brother. He's four. 
We saw on TV that if you use these you would 
be able to swim and ride a bike. 
Right now, he can't do either."

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by LornaDoone on Wed May 28 2014, 04:26

http://www.chacha.com/gallery/3349/what-are-some-clever-wifi-names/55082

couldn't get the picture to post.. but this one is funny!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by melbert on Sun Jun 01 2014, 05:06

Drafting Guys Over 60. This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! It's better than keeping them on the VA's waiting list.

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off Old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!


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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by sparkie on Sun Jun 01 2014, 10:25

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days". Soon three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, " 51 days, 51 days, 51 days" Two more blondes show and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof "51 days, 51 days, 51 days". Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting " 51 days, 51 days, 51 days"!

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the centre is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "what's all the chanting and celebration about"? The blonde who bought in the picture pipes in, " Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together bought that puzzle and put it together....the side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days.

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by it's me on Sun Jun 01 2014, 11:07

the worst I ever read

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by sparkie on Sun Jun 01 2014, 11:19

Yep, got the message!!!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Wed Jun 04 2014, 22:33

Brains of the elderly are slow because they know so much..........
The brains of older people only appear to slow down because they have so much information to compute, much like a full-up hard drive, scientists believe.

Older people do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains.
Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full up, so to do humans take longer to access information, it has been suggested.
Researchers say this slowing down is not the same as cognitive decline.
“The human brain works slower in old age,” said Dr. Michael Ramscar, “but only because we have stored more information over time
“The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.”

[size=48][size=35]           [/size][/size]SO THERE!!    We Are All Brilliant!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by melbert on Thu Jun 05 2014, 02:12

That we are, my dear!  That we are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And those young'uns better stop laughing!  We'll take all our sagging and slap the crap outta them!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Tue Jun 10 2014, 12:09


Nag Nag Nag....

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying
to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor
had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home,
his wife started on him about,
'What time of night to be getting home is this?
Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'.
And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual,
he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for
a long hot soak in the bathtub,pursued by the
predictable sarcastic remarks
as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang.
The wife answered and was told that her husband's client,
James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.
Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had,
she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted
by the sight of her husband, bent over naked,
drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

He whirled around and screamed,

'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN,
DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Tue Jun 10 2014, 12:18

it's me wrote:the worst I ever read

No no no....the worst is the Spitoon joke....
Too revolting for words.

So come on IM....your turn to find some jokes 
for us to enjoy now !!!!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by it's me on Tue Jun 10 2014, 12:31

jokes?

oh my
I am the worst in it FOR SURE

but let blondes be blonde
WTF

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Wed Jun 11 2014, 12:33

Heard from my joke-mate today....yes....he's born prior
to 1950 too !


[ltr]Unfortunately this  virus appears to be inevitable, unstoppable, if you don't have it yet, you  will .... 



I  thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most  advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.   It appears to affect those who were born prior to  1950.

 
 
Symptoms: 

 
 1.  Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.  Done  that!

 2.  Causes you to send a blank e-mail!  That  too!

 3.  Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.  Yep! 

4.  Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.   Aha! 

 5.  Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.  Well  bugger!

 6.  Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.  Oh , no  not again! 

7.  Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."  And  I just hate that!

8.  Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."  Oh  No!

 
 
 
 IT IS  CALLED THE "C-NILE  VIRUS." 
 
AKA:-  CRAFT: Can't Remenber A F*#*#*#G Thing

 
 
  Have I  already sent this to you?   
Or did you send  it to  me?
[/ltr]



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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by melbert on Wed Jun 11 2014, 12:38

I WASN'T born before 1950, so it does affect others too!!!!


And I definitely have CRAFT disease!!!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by it's me on Wed Jun 11 2014, 13:11

looool !!!!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Wed Jun 11 2014, 14:31

melbert wrote:I WASN'T born before 1950, so it does affect others too!!!!


And I definitely have CRAFT disease!!!


I think it sounds Very Trendy....CRAFT disease......

I like it !

Mind you we do have KRAFT soft cheese here.....so I may get sued

if it use it too often.....  lol!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by melbert on Wed Jun 11 2014, 14:57

We have Kraft cheese too!  My sons' favorite meal.  Kraft Mac & Cheese!!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Sun Jun 15 2014, 12:24

WORLD CUP BREALING NEWS !



Telephone rings, woman answers.


Pervert, breathing heavily, says,
"I bet you have a tight arse with no hair"


Woman replies,
"Yes, I have. He's watching the football.
 

Who shall I say is calling?"

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by party animal - not! on Sun Jun 15 2014, 14:36

Just for you, Jo


https://twitter.com/WorldCupJokes/status/477934623964819460

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Sun Jun 15 2014, 15:15

Laughing out loud ....thanks pan !

A laugh is need after last night....BumTits !

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by it's me on Sun Jun 15 2014, 15:50

Balo did it

now we will see

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Thu Jun 19 2014, 02:33

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yNz_9eSUMKg



Joanna
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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Sun Jun 22 2014, 08:37


Joanna
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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by LizzyNY on Sun Jun 22 2014, 21:08

PRICELESS!! Thanks, Joanna. Got a great laugh out of this one.

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Fri Jun 27 2014, 18:56

This is for the Older Ladies:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O4QzHeUE-CM

Don't have time to fiddle with trying to share.

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by it's me on Fri Jun 27 2014, 19:54

funny vid!!

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Mon Jun 30 2014, 23:11

A man and woman were married for many years.  Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard from their house deep into the night.  The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of that grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life!"   Neighbors feared him.  The old man liked the fact that he was feared. 
 
Then one evening, at age 85, he died.  After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked: "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"   The wife said, "Let him dig.  I had him buried upside down ....and I know he won't ask for directions."

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by pattygirl on Mon Jun 30 2014, 23:15

The awesome power of a wife's love
 
 
 
A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
 
With laboured breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
 
There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favourite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven?
Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife,
seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table.
The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
 
"Stay out of those," she said.  "They're for the funeral.
      
THE  END

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by it's me on Mon Jun 30 2014, 23:31

noooooooo !  affraid 

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Mon Jun 30 2014, 23:34

Apologies to anyone offended by this joke,
which came from my Joke-Mate....

No matter what Isaac the husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since by Jewish law a wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.

The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:

'Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you.
That will help your wife fantasize and should
bring on an orgasm.'

They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love.
It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.

'Okay,' he says to the husband, 'Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.'

Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man.
The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel.

The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm
and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking,
ear-splitting screaming orgasm.

The husband smiles, looks at the young man
and says to him triumphantly,

'See that, you schmuck?
THAT'S how you wave a towel!'

 Yahooooo 

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Wed Jul 09 2014, 14:25

Things that Cats Do...Creepy if Done by Humans


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xUANIvNmYzQ




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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Joanna on Wed Jul 09 2014, 14:56

Flight Emergency

Noticing they were having engine trouble, the pilot instructed the crew to have the passengers take their seats and prepare for an emergency landing.

A few moments later, the pilot asked the attendants
if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"We're all set back here, Captain," an attendant replied. "Except for one journalist who is still going around passing out his business cards."

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Re: JOKES and ALL THINGS HUMOROUS

Post by Sponsored content Today at 14:33


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