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December Chit Chat

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Post by cindigirl Sat 08 Dec 2012, 16:45

Hey Lakin, take mel's advice and get yourself back here. Don't let a little thing like hip replacement keep you away. Hope you feel better real soon. lip smack
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Post by Joanna Sat 08 Dec 2012, 18:10

Have a good evening and a comfy sleep in your own bed Lakin
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Post by OofOof Sat 08 Dec 2012, 18:15

You've got the right attitude Lakin! In no time, you'll be out there running circles around everyone else!
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Post by lucy Sun 09 Dec 2012, 14:04

Happy Holidays to all, shopping for presents is always fun online or for me going to the stores early while most people are at work. My family doesn't make it about gifts, some years are better than others for exchanging gifts, so we like to get together hang out in our pj's watch movies, play games, and eat. This is one year we are not buying alot, and that's OK, it's not a sad thing just a cautious one.
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Post by melbert Sun 09 Dec 2012, 18:22

I'll be right over CindiGirl! Don't look for the other barn though, as I'll have that covered soon enough too!!!
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Post by cindigirl Sun 09 Dec 2012, 18:31

OK mel - I'll meet you on the corner and you bring the wine. Drunk
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Post by melbert Sun 09 Dec 2012, 19:06

it's a date!
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Post by OofOof Sun 09 Dec 2012, 20:37

Hey! Cindi and Mel! Count me in...but sadly, Cindi, unlike you, when I'm under stress, I open the fridge. Wish I were more like you! Mel, I'll cover the other half of the barn Very Happy
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Post by Joanna Sun 09 Dec 2012, 21:48

Someone.....Send him a text.....Quick !



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Post by Maggy Sun 09 Dec 2012, 21:49

Sweet! Smile
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Post by theminis Mon 10 Dec 2012, 00:35

Following on from a comment Oof made in another thread re pressure to be skinny, how is this for sad!!!

My beautiful 5 year old daughter came from school last week and for the first time in her life refused to eat dinner, she told me that her legs are too fat!! and that she should stop eating pasta and go on a diet. I almost choked on my dinner for several reasons, she is not fat (a word I so dislike), we do not use words like fat or diet in our house so I was disturbed at the way she phrased her comments. It turns out that several of her classmates, girls have been teasing her at school because they think her legs are fat and she does have a little belly (which I've kissed and squeezed and loved since she was a bub). THey have told her to stop eating pasta and try lettuce.

Needless to say I had a meeting with teacher who was just as horrified as I was (apparently the teasing happened every day for nearly a week before my daughter finally cracked and told me about it). I expected to deal with these issues when she was older, not at 5.

What an introduction to what school life can be like. When she had her tonsils out we discovered that she has moderate hearing loss in 1 ear (its improving so day by day she hears better). The teacher explained to the class that when she returns to school, to be kind after her operation and to talk softly to her. Instead 1 girl tried to choke my daughter with her scarf, and I had to remove her from school and have a doctor check her throat. Several classmates started yelling in her ears at lunchtime the next day, a teacher told me she was on the ground pleading for them to stop as it hurts her ears. She is not only the most beautiful girl in the world in so many ways but an incredibly kind and emphatic child, hopefully all this will be character building for her and she will learn from it.
Sorry long post, not good at summarising.
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Post by OofOof Mon 10 Dec 2012, 01:04

OMG Minis, that broke my heart!

I just don't know what's happening anymore to all of us. How are 5 year olds already learning this stuff? I feel so sorry for teens and 20 somethings today. We had pressures when I was growing up to be thin--I think after the 60's it seems that's been the norm. But, girls today are being taught that their first and foremost concern is being sexy and pleasing men.

They are bombarded with covers on "slammin abs", perfect butts, big boobs but small everything else. I mean women in their 20's and 30's are getting botox for God's sake! And now we have filler for cheeks. And don't forget the perfectly white teeth. I just don't know how girls survive anymore frankly.

Frankly, the bullies who were making the little girl's life in Mini's article above so miserable should be expelled from the school. At least the little girl who tried to choke her with a scarf. Sadly, she has to be learning that from somewhere and I doubt her parents can be taught to be good people.

The whole fat centric world we all live in is just so sad. I know it's affected me personally and I know so many other women who've lived pretty much in hiding because they don't have that perfect body. It's hard to like yourself when all you see are those skinny models staring at you from magazines everywhere you go! It's taken me a long time to start liking who I am now and with that acceptance has come a better relationship with my body. Anyway, I hope that little girl and all the little girls in the world today can somehow move beyond the demands of perfection!
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Post by theminis Mon 10 Dec 2012, 01:24

It is ridiculous really, all these expectations, and I think women in general put a lot of pressures on themselves too unnecessarily. Now honestly I could easily lose 5kgs and would look and probably feel better too, can't use the just had a baby excuse anymore as hés now 3. I emphasise healthy eating and exercise at home but never ever use the word diet, nor have ever suggested anyone needs to lose weight, so was especially upset that those thoughts found their way into my home.

Most the girls in her class wear nail polish and lip gloss which Teacher is tired of removing each day, diamond studs in their ears - its lunacy, if they can't be children with all the innocence that should pertain to it, then when can they be!..

The girl that choked mine with a scarf had a lunchtime detention, the girls who have been teasing mine have had phone calls to parents and warned that if it happens again they will get a lunchtime detention.

I too prior to having my children had weight issues and times of self loathing as I could not shift the weight no matter how I tried, and the amount of rude people in my own family who kept on commenting about it, did not help. I am still a little overweight, judging from how my clothes fit but I don't stress about it anymore, and I absolutely refuse to have my little girl at 5 worry about such things, not on my watch.
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Post by melbert Mon 10 Dec 2012, 01:56

TheMinis, my heart is just breaking for your daughter, and for you too. This world is so cruel and these wee ones are being bombarded with the bullshit so early in their lives. Thank God you've got a good heart and can teach her right from wrong and can give her unconditional love. Bless you.
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Post by theminis Mon 10 Dec 2012, 03:42

Many Thanks Mel, Oof, it made me feel terribly sad that she wanted to cover her body and hide herself. Its a journey at their age, discovering emotions and how words can hurt.

Just this weekend, she asked her Daddy if he really thought she was pretty as he has always called her his bella una (beautiful one) or does he say that cause he's her Daddy! I was eavesdropping (hiding in the hallway) and I heard him tell her that she is the most beautiful girl in the world, but what he loves most about her is the way she makes him feel, like the luckiest Daddy in the world. It was a lovely thought to send her off to bed with.

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Post by silly girl Mon 10 Dec 2012, 04:16

I have been reading the responses but haven't commented because I was totally speechless. I remember all too well how cruel children can be and I got all choked up and teary reading what happened to your daughter. I am so sorry she had to go through that. You and your husband seem like wonderful parents, just keep showering her with love and I am sure she will grow up to be a strong independent beautiful person. I love you

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Post by theminis Mon 10 Dec 2012, 05:36

Thank you all really for kind thoughts and I'm sorry if my post upset anyone, I know its a sensitive issue, as it is for me too - I wanted to share it as I was beyond speechless, and so shocked and angry that she is only 5 and is being confronted in this manner, it shouldn't happen at all. I also endured for want of a better word a lot of taunting, teasing, bullying for several years commencing at her age, so maybe I don't have enough objectivity, as I immediately felt so livid that she experienced this. My husband is still real mad that he saw her crying, and playing with her food for over a week, refusing to wear any part of her uniform that might show her legs above her knees. He wants to know who the parents of these children are so he can talk to them!.

Its not him these parents have to worry about, its my (Italian) mother-in-law who wants to come to school, she can't get past the fact that someone told her grand-daughter to stay away from pasta!. So if you see a news report on CNN about an Australian/Italian 75 year old women under 5 feet tall, who went on a rampage with a wooden spoon and bags of pasta, yep that's my Mother-in-law.

Thanks again all for your understanding, kind thoughts. x
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Post by melbert Mon 10 Dec 2012, 13:32

We are so with you TheMinis!!! Go Grandma TheMinis! Take that wooden spoon and pasta and beat the crap out of those bullies!!!!
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Post by silly girl Mon 10 Dec 2012, 14:00

Love your Mother in law!



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Post by lucy Mon 10 Dec 2012, 14:48

theminis, let your mother in law vent she needs it, as parents do we ever get over being upset or angry when we feel our children are being hurt by bullies. Maybe talking to the parents of the children in a calm way(if there is any of you that can remain calm) letting them know how it affected your daughter might help. We need to teach our children how harmful words can be to their peers, lucky for you to have a child that tells you what is happening in her life now not later. My heart goes out to you and your family, as parents we all know the pain you are feeling.
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Post by OofOof Mon 10 Dec 2012, 16:43

God Minis I am so sorry for you and your daughter! When I first read your post, I thought you had copied an article from a newspaper or blog about bullying in your area and didn't realize it was a mini Mini. You must have wanted to cry when she told you.

I am stunned that the little girl who choked your daughter only got lunchtime detention. If for no other reason then to emphasize to parents that bullying is unacceptable, she should have been expelled or, at least suspended!

And, the fact that you had to endure bullying while her age too just made me cry. What is wrong with the world I wonder that there are so many people who have to make others miserable to feel better about themselves?

Your Mom-in-Law sounds lovely and I think you should send her into the school for some "re-education" of the little girls involved! Your daughter is very lucky to have you as her Mom. consider yourself hugged!
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Post by MM Mon 10 Dec 2012, 16:57

IN my younger years, I could eat anything and not gain weight. In my mid-twenties, things changed: I gained weight and I have a hard time losing it. I managed to lose 15 pounds, but I have far to go.
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Post by Joanna Mon 10 Dec 2012, 17:27

I too thought that a lunch time detention was too lenient for what the girl did to mini-mini after her operation.
It's the parents every time who are at fault where bullies are concerned...IMO anyway. Obviously they're not aware of what their "little darlings" are capable of when out of their home.
It makes me mad !!

Hope it all settles down for her and for you theminis. flower
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Post by OofOof Mon 10 Dec 2012, 17:41

MM, I spent years yo yo dieting with limited success. Then several years ago, my Mom broke her hip and I ended up being her primary caregiver for years. I moved away from friends to her town and over a six year period of her getting progressively sicker and me getting progressively more depressed, I gained 178 pounds. After she passed away, it took a few years for me to regain my sense of self.

About 2 years ago, I hit bottom and started the journey I'm on today. I was already quite heavy by the time I began caring for her so I had a lot to lose and for some reason, this time I've been successful. I've lost 176 pounds and am still working at it. I know I'm going to sound like Ms. Keibler, god help me, but what's worked for me is not cutting food out but understanding what a single portion is and exercising. And, where as before, when I stumbled, I would give up, for some reason, this time I have been able to think, you'll do better tomorrow and I do! It's been a difficult time around the holidays with parties and cookies everywhere I go (I have a hard time controlling myself withbaked goods and bread!) so I think I've lost the same 30 pounds this past month, but I am celebrating the fact I haven't gained.

Anyway, I know when you have a lot to lose it can seem impossible. If I can do it, anyone can!
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Post by theminis Mon 10 Dec 2012, 20:34

Thank you again all, yep oof I was talking about my very own mini me! Lunchtime detention may appear lenient but it was suggested to me that the children involved have no real understanding of what they did, the harm they could have caused. Part of the detention is writing sorry cards to mine where they give them to her and apologise, I think that is a good way of helping everyone get some understanding of how my daughter felt etc. My mother-in-law is the funniest when she's angry which is something I've rarely seen, but yes those children would have sore bottoms for certain.

Hopefully this is just a little blip on my little ones radar and wont become a big issue for her, she seems to be putting it aside and not focusing on it so much. And I am thankful that she told me about it, its a good way of her to learn that we as parents will listen and try to make it better for her.
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Post by Missa Tue 11 Dec 2012, 01:00

Oof, you're a rockstar!!!! You could be in one of those People magazine "I lost half my size" articles! Hoorah!

As someone who has also spent a lifetime going up and down with weight and trying every diet out there, I know how hard it is to take that much weight off. Breads and baked goods are my weakness too, and this time of year is awful. I'm cheering you on from the wilds of the internet! Cheerleader
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Post by OofOof Tue 11 Dec 2012, 01:17

Lucy, couldn't agree with you more! Cleanses are nothing but a way for the people who make those cleanses to make money!

Congrats on your weight loss! And, I agree with you as well about not letting Hollywood and Madison Avenue tell us what's beautiful! I think the conversation we all had about Lisa is indicative of the influence of media. As I said before, I don't like the dress on Lisa but my comments suggested she was heavy which is simply not true!

Read almost any celebrity related site on the internet today and the comments mostly women are making, about other women makes me so sad. We seem to be the worst offenders of nitpicking the way other women look. I'm guilty of it as much as anyone and I hate that I seem programmed to feel that way! I've stopped going to any other celebrity related site because those comments were depressing me. And then I went and did the same thing on this site with regard to Ms. Snowden! My bad!
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Post by OofOof Tue 11 Dec 2012, 01:22

Missa wrote:Oof, you're a rockstar!!!! You could be in one of those People magazine "I lost half my size" articles! Hoorah!

As someone who has also spent a lifetime going up and down with weight and trying every diet out there, I know how hard it is to take that much weight off. Breads and baked goods are my weakness too, and this time of year is awful. I'm cheering you on from the wilds of the internet! Cheerleader

THANKS! Missa! Not a rock star...just finally got my act together and learned how to eat properly! It took me long enough! I'm with you on this time of the year...good God, I'm a cookie monster and everywhere I turn, people are trying to give me cookies!!!! The good thing for me is that I did stop eating chocolate a year and a half ago because I decided it was giving me migraines. Those headaches hurt enough that I'm able to turn down anything chocolate now which has been a really good thing for losing weight...I'm most definitely a choco-holic!

I'll be thinking of you and sending you good thoughts during the holidays! Cheers my dear!
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Post by theminis Tue 11 Dec 2012, 05:36

Wow - oof what an inspiration and even more so as you lost weight the most sensible way, cutting out whats not good for you and exercising - so fabulous, and many congratulations for sticking to what amounts to a real lifestyle change (at least it would be in my case, a major one). I am about to embark on a huge change for me next week (not waiting till New years, those resolutions are impossible to keep), just simple things like switching to decaf coffee (or only 1-2 coffees a day), drink more water, cut out chocolate and way too much cheese, and lastly but not the easiest, quit my smoking!!!! Have been cutting down smoking over last 2 months and its getting easier and easier not to think about it. So proud of you Oof x
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Post by OofOof Tue 11 Dec 2012, 08:27

Right back at you theminis! Good luck with the smoking. I have a friend doing the same thing and I know it's really difficult.

Cutting chocolate and coffee really helped my migraines so I hope it does the same for you. I did it at first because of the pain but in the end it helped with changing my eating habits. I am most definitely addicted to chocolate and I have no self control where it's concerned. Deciding not to eat it was the best thing I did when I first started the changes in my eating habits. And, I, like you, LOVED coffee. I could drink 5 or 6 cups no sweat. Sadly, I didn't like it black--had to have cream or drink a latte. So cutting coffee also ended up cutting tons of calories out of my daily total.

I think people think or hope there's a magic pill for losing weight. Sadly there isn't. The single most important thing that I've done that's made it possible to finally find success is that, with the exception of chocolate and coffee, which I cut out completely due to those migraines, I eat anything and everything I like.

My Mom always put bowls of food on our dinner table and we all served ourselves, eating as much as we wanted. I never learned about portions. I started by looking at what a portion is for various foods and have grown to know now what's appropriate for me. I eat a lot of food everyday--1800 to 2000 calories.

If you like cheese, don't cut it out. Especially if you're quitting smoking. When I first started, I did it in increments. Started exercising first. Then I concentrated on the food. You might start with the cigarettes and then start watching portions. Because you have migraines, like I do, all I can tell you is that I have no idea which one was my trigger but once I stopped coffee (decaf too) and chocolate, I stopped getting daily migraines. Now, the only ones I get are sinus related. I switched out the coffee with green tea and black tea. They have caffeine in them but for some reason it doesn't do the same thing to me.

And, I've never been able to do sweetners. They make my stomach cramp and I know they're terrible for you. I found this great stuff that has no after taste and you use it just like sugar. My family is hypersensitive towards sweetner. They always know when it's in something. But none of them have a clue. It's called Z-Sweet. It's derived from Stevia but unlike a lot of Stevia products, it's not sickenly sweet.

Good Luck Minis and don't start doing everything at once. Do one thing at a time and you'll do GREAT!
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Post by Katiedot Tue 11 Dec 2012, 09:21

cindigirl wrote:I found the perfect, although painful, way to get skinny - stress.

The funny thing about losing your appetite and a lot of weight is that once that happens you develop a distaste for food and can only eat a small amount at a time. Hell, I'm going to go out now and buy a pizza and some cheese cake. LOL

Best in Category wrote:Well, isn´t this a wrong month for diet talk?

Usually mags are full of tips to lose weight in January. You can pick any january issue from 1960´s up till today and there it is: Diet.

My favorite is "himalaya diet", authentic nepalese cuisine. It´s a bit tricky to follow it, because it requires traveling to the spot = Himalaya. It contains individual trekking in a mountains days and nights in cold and hot weather. Bread, soup and water. That´s all. Guaranteed you will lose weight!

If you diet at home, risks of relapsing for over eating after xmas are great. sunny
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Post by theminis Tue 11 Dec 2012, 11:51

Again great and useful tips, think a trip to the Himilayas is in order though, sounds fun if not exhausting!. Re portion control: when I had my first child, the midwife gave me a rundown on breastfeeding/introducing solids. She told me to remember that your stomach is the size of your fist regardless of your age and to keep that in mind when putting portions of food on plates for myself and children. Think there is some truth to that, as I ate every 2 hours, lots of calories, carbs milk etc to try and keep up my energy for breastfeeding too. I only had little portions at each meal though and 6 weeks after birth had lost 9 kilos!...Maybe for me that's a good way to start, reducing my portions at meal times! Have already reduced smoking/caffeine intake, the cheese and chocolate is tough says me who just ate a Mars Bars!!
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Post by it's me Tue 11 Dec 2012, 13:16

harghhh
love Mars Bars!!!
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Post by lucy Tue 11 Dec 2012, 15:08

theminis, good luck with quitting smoking it's one of the toughest addictions to stop.Two years plus for me, a lifetime of quitting, during pregnancy was the only easy time to quit. After all this time I still find myself thinking what am I missing? Look around and think cig, lighter,ash tray, laugh at myself for the thought. No longer have the physical withdrawal, only the mental and that comes and goes so quickly it no longer bothers me. Best part is I can breathe and I don't smell like an ashtray.
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Post by cindigirl Tue 11 Dec 2012, 16:01

Thanks for the tips on quitting smoking. I'm a lifetime smoker but have cut down (10 smokes a day) for the past year, probably because of the expense but I think mostly it's because I know I should. If you know what triggers you to smoke try to cut them out. For me it's coffee, wine, food, tv and, oh my God, my time on the computer.

For dieting, if you cut down drastically on your food intake, eventually you won't be able to eat as much. I don't know if the stomach shrinking theory is true but it worked for me. I can't consume any more than around 800 calories a day now. I lost weight but also a lot of muscle mass. I'm not as strong as I used to be.

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Post by OofOof Tue 11 Dec 2012, 17:31

Wow Cindi! I don't know how you get thru the day on 800 cals! As long as I exercise, I am still losing eating 1800 to 2000 a day. I tend to eat a bigger lunch because I need the energy then. Then have a small dinner and try not to eat anything after 7 or 8.

You must be TINY! Sadly, the shrinking stomach thing may be physically true but my food probes are not based on hunger. When I overeat now it hurts but if I'm under a lot of stress, the first thing I want to do is eat, no matter how full I am!
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Post by cindigirl Tue 11 Dec 2012, 17:43

Hi OafOaf - it's funny how the human mind works. When I'm stressed I reach for a smoke. As long as you don't overdo it, eating is a lot more healthy than smoking.

I'm not exactly tiny, I'm 5'5" and weigh 128 pounds. There's enough heft to take on the best of them. LOL
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Post by OofOof Tue 11 Dec 2012, 17:56

I guess your smokes are my cookies! Wish I was someone who could meditate my way thru stress, but, sadly, every time I've tried, my mind just races the whole time I'm supposed to be meditating and I get more stressed!

Off to a meeting...going to be a stressful one so everyone HIDE THE COOKIES!
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Post by theminis Tue 11 Dec 2012, 20:42

To be honest, its the smell of smoking that is really starting to get to me! Never really bothered before but I think my sinus's are now being cruel to me as I smell cigarette smoke everywhere (except the house as I don't smoke indoors with little ones). One of my children came home this year and asked me why I smoked, did I know how bad it was, it damages ever part of your body, and that I should stop! Damn that school for educating my child!!!
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Post by cindigirl Tue 11 Dec 2012, 20:58

When you smoke, the smell gets into your clothes, maybe that's what you're smelling. Smoking is a vile, unhealthy and expensive habit. I know that but still reach for it. I tried the electronic cigarettes but they just don't do it for me.
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Post by Best in Category Tue 11 Dec 2012, 21:07

Theminis: "the stomach is a size of your fist"

I didn´t know that! I must have been eating every 2 hours today, and portions have been huge! Christmas boards, aperos...snacks here and there. plus drinks. If I had a watch that counts calories, it would tell me to eat nothing for 2 weeks!

But your tip sounds like a one I could follow... Very Happy

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Post by Joanna Tue 11 Dec 2012, 21:28

Singing out loud is good for stress.
Join a choir and sing, sing, sing !

Or...punch cushions !!
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Post by theminis Tue 11 Dec 2012, 22:50

Best in Category wrote:Theminis: "the stomach is a size of your fist"

I didn´t know that! I must have been eating every 2 hours today, and portions have been huge! Christmas boards, aperos...snacks here and there. plus drinks. If I had a watch that counts calories, it would tell me to eat nothing for 2 weeks!

But your tip sounds like a one I could follow... Very Happy

Im no expert, but I was told that your stomach when empty would be approximately the size of your fist, and of course stretches as food enters it. Also that its more beneficial for our stomachs if you eat smaller portions and more often as it helps it work more efficiently to keep your metabolism at the right level. I can guarantee to you that if my children do not snack on something at least every 2 hours you can see it in their behaviour, not good. Its like someone has wound them up all of sudden, chaos (something to do with glucose levels I think).
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Post by Lakin460 Wed 12 Dec 2012, 14:27

Greetings all you wonderful COHers! I'm baaaAAACkkk. Today's the first day I really felt like getting online. Recovery going well, altho I felt so good yesterday I did too much and now I'm paying for it pain-wise. (Gee, where's a good morphine pump when you need one?)

Thanks loads for all the well wishes and prayers. Means the world to me. I know I can always find supportive voices on here to cheer me on, no matter what trials befall me.

I'm off work for a good 4-6 weeks and while that saddens me greatly..... ( Coolio Hoorah! Yahooooo ) I will press on and get caught up on all things Clooney and begin pestering you all once again with my amazing wit and wisdom. Say wha?

Love to you all!
Me
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Post by silly girl Wed 12 Dec 2012, 14:32

welcome back Lakin....So happy you are doing well! You have lots to catch up on! Very Happy

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Post by lucy Wed 12 Dec 2012, 15:06

WELCOME BACK Lakin, haven't been on line much until this week, so I've missed out on the reason you were away. Doesn't sound like it was a long over due vaca, so hope all is well and you enjoy some of the time off.
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Post by Katiedot Wed 12 Dec 2012, 15:28

Superduper and lovely to 'see' you back on your feet again,, so to speak. Yes, I'm sure you're terribly sad to miss out on being at work but I hope we can keep you company in the meantime!
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Post by Maggy Wed 12 Dec 2012, 16:16

Welcome back, Lakin Hug1
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Post by OofOof Wed 12 Dec 2012, 17:07

I missed your voice Lakin. You were one of the reasons I kept coming back here. So "sorry" cheers You're missing work...

Hope your PT goes well and that in a few weeks the pain you're feeling now has diminished beyond what you must've been feeling before surgery! That's when you'll be really glad you did the surgery!
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Post by Katiedot Wed 12 Dec 2012, 17:35

Hey, the wedding went well today! I talked them out of ice cream cake and into regular cake with icing so thick on it I suspect it may survive a nuclear strike.

There was only one issue: two hours before the ceremony, I went to collect the rings from them. One couple looked at me blankly: no rings. Never occurred to them to ring rings. I mean, why buy rings when you're getting married, right? Rolling Eyes

So they had to get married with borrowed rings that I made them give back as soon as thephotos were done. Sheesh!

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