GAME Two Things You Can Do With a.....

You and 24 of your friends ride in them over Niagara Falls
or
start your own microbrewery

What two things can yo do with moldy books?

Mix into compost for house plants
or
Make Mouldy Books Soup


What 2 things can you do with mouldy socks ?

start harvesting penicillin
or
glue on eyes and start working as a PR sock puppet for GC

what two things can you do with an underwire bra?

Make it into a hanging basket for plants
or
Make it into a pair of espadrilles, as per Joanna Lumley
on her desert island.


What 2 things can you do with a pair of coconuts ?

Cut 'em in half and make 2 bras to be worn with 2 grass hula skirts so two dancers can celebrate on Joanna Lumley's desert island.

or

make 2 coconut cream pies

What 2 things can you do with a drunken sailor?

Drop him off onto the island with JL & the Hula dancers
to have a party
or
Make him walk the plank


What two things can you do with a black doggie tucked up in bed ?

show him off on your social network so eveyone will think you're 'in like flint' with GC
or
snuggle up next to him and shut the f@$k up!

What two things can you do with a committment phobe, drop dead gorgeous, confirmed bachelor?

Enjoy everything you can get from him for as long as you can and remain friends forever.
or
Introduce him to your 6 Hard Brothers on a dark night,
in a dark alley,
where there's no mobile phone signal....
and book the church



What 2 things can you do with 6 Hard Brothers lying sobbing on the floor ?

Make a video and post it on Youtube. It will go viral and you will be famous and be invited to the Today Show with Matt Lauer, at which point the drop dead gorgeous bachelor will take notice of you for your amazing film skills and entreprenuer spirit and decide he wants to marry you

Or

scold them all for being a bunch of worthless pussies who can't even subdue one drop dead gorgeous confirmed bachelor and get him to the altar.

What 2 things can you do with an empty church?

460


Hold a Silent Auction to raise funds for the treatment of
6 Hard Brothers suffering from severe PTS Syndrome, Depression
and Agoraphobia
or
Invite everyone to come to an all night Prayer Meeting for
one DDGCB.... that he may see the light... and stay Unmarried !


What 2 things can you do with a steak & kidney crusty pastry pie ?

LOLOL you're funny Joanna

1) EAT IT with a glass of fine Cabernet

or

2) give it to Lakin, who has never eaten a steak & kidney crusty pastry pie! (I vote for the second option. I'll even provide my own wine!)


What 2 things can you do with a very bad, no good, awful, gloomy, rainy afternoon?

I'll post you one then 460...you'll be safe..
.....it won't be one I've made !


Just put your knickers on the wall and dance round them.
or
Invite all the neighbours round for a Nudist Wine Party in the rain.


What 2 things can you do with a pile of wet washing ?

put it ina bastket & set in your neighbor's yard by her clothesline and let her think she forgot to hang it out, in which case she does

or

tell your husband if he'll throw the washing in the dryer, you'll make it worth his effort!

What 2 things can you do with a husband who won't barter?

Cry and drip all over his favourite things
or
Sob in front of his relations..... saying over & over "Why" "Why"
"WHY"


What 2 things can you do with hot sticky syrup puddin'

incorporate it into foreplay (you know what I mean...)

or

use it as bait and start your own ant colony



What 2 things can you do with an ant colony?

Tell them to join a circus
or
Get them a TV contract
(We have a couple of TV entertainers/presenters
known as Ant & Dec)


What 2 things can you do with a rain soaked dog ?

(ugh!) let it shake off real good in the presence of your mother in law

or

take off your shoes and take your dog back outside and play in the rain with him (or her)

What 2 things can you do with a rainbow colored all day sucker (lollipop)?

Make it last two days..... and then call a radio phone in programme to boast about it
or
Chobble it up in 5 minutes....then follow above guidelines


What 2 things can you do with people who make
you hopping mad ?

Ignore them
or
pour hot coffee on their lap

What two things can you with hair extensions?

tickle the toes of gnomes and trolls

or

turn your Barbie doll into Lady Godiva

What 2 things can you do with a pile of dust bunnies?

Leave them for five years as per Quentin Crisp's comment...
"dust doesn't get any more after five years"
or
Get the Little House Maids in to do a blitz on them before Easter

What 2 things can you do with a dozen chocolate Easter Eggs ?

give 'em to 11 of your friends, keep one for yourself

or

find the chocolate hen that laid them and plan your retirement

What 2 things can you do with a pair of broken eyeglasses?

Put a Blue or Patterned plaster on the broken bit and start a new trend when wearing them
or
Fix just the lenses across your eyes with transparent tape
to wear as a new style of monocle

What 2 things can you do when in the house on your own, for a change

Not cook and sleep all day
or
Not cook and sleep all day

What two things can you do with a moving escalator.

ride UP
or
ride DOWN
then repeat many times over - wwwweeeeeeeeeee

What two things can you do with a chocolate Easter bunny?

elevate your mood with an amazing endorphin rush

or

eat it and ward off hypothermia if you're in Antartica

What 2 things can you do with an Easter egg? eh? eh?

Hide it for an Egg hunt
or
Soft boil it for Eggie-Soldiers....unless it's a choccie egg

Joanna, you forgot the next What 2 things...

CRS again !


What 2 things can you do with an old bag with CRS ?

put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner
or
love her cuz' she's just like the rest of us!!!!

What 2 things can you do with thigh high hose?

Wear them with 6" high heeled shoes and short skirt and strut around the neighbourhood giving Chocolate Eggs away
or
Attached red & green fabric Reindeers to them and hang them
up for Santa to fill with gold nuggets on Christmas Eve

(less than 9 month's away)

CRS yet again......


What 2 things can you do with one shoe with broken 6" heel ?

Gimp to the nearest ER with your broken ankle
or
break off the other heel and have a pair of flats

What 2 things can you do with a half-eaten chocolate bunny?

melt it and dip strawberries in it

eat the other half


what two things can you do with isopropyl (rubbing) alcohol?

"Symptoms of isopropyl alcohol poisoning include flushing, headache, dizziness, central nervous system depression, nausea, vomiting, anesthesia, and coma" * Thanks wikie....

So....avoid it like the plague
or
Give it to a welder.... to clean his tools with *


What 2 things can you do with all that chocolate
sitting in Merlin's lap ?

book a flight and hope she has some left when I get there
or
tell Merlin to "STEP AWAY FROM THE CHOCOLATE"

What 2 things can you do with left-over fried chicken?

A lot or a little ???

Make meals for a fortnight
or
Make one sandwich for a Tuesday


What can you do with 3 broken clocks ?

Know the time twice a day for 3 different times
or
FIX THEM!!!!

What 2 things can you do with all these eggs falling?????

hehe, what eggs?

two things you can do with an old kitchen towel

Put it on the wall and dance round it
or
Auction on Ebay, saying it belonged to Prince Einstein

What 2 things can you do with a hot air balloon ?

fly far, far away

or

put Stacy Keibler in it and fly HER far, far away

What two things can you do with an empty wine bottle? (hic )

use it as a candlestick (yep, I was a hippie)

recycle it

what two things can you do with an broken keyboard

dunno
bec I'm now dealing with a broken monitor
AND THIS IS


well
guess the answer would be
throw it away
and thow it away...


what 2 things can you do with a tiring day?

First, Count Blessings for another Day of Freedom & Safety
or
After that, go to bed to recover


What 2 things can you do with a Birthday ?


mine.... had a Greetings email from GTC too !

ENJOY IT!!!!
or
crop it up as just another day in Paradise

What 2 things can you do with leftover b-day cake?

mail a piece to all friends on COH

eat it all, gain 5 pounds and shorten your life span (remember , sugar is toxic!)

What can you do with a 5 lb. bag of sugar once you refind out it's toxic?

Joanna wrote:First, Count Blessings for another Day of Freedom & Safety
or
After that, go to bed to recover


What 2 things can you do with a Birthday ?


mine.... had a Greetings email from GTC too !

an email only!?

Use it as a door stop indoors
or
Strap it to your tum, under clothing, to pretend to be preggars....
then DEMAND a seat on a bus instead of standing.

What two things can you do with a leaking bag of sugar,
while seated on a bus ?

Be a Pied Piper for ants leaving a trail of sugar
or
tell everyone your cocaine is spilling

What two things can you do in stormy weather?

cozy up inside for with a glass of wine and a good book or movie

or

go outside and see if you can add 'lightening rod' to your resume

What two things can you do with a lightening rod on a sunny day?