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George Clooney set to marry Anne Widdecombe EmptySun 17 Mar 2024, 22:18 by party animal - not!

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George Clooney set to marry Anne Widdecombe

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George Clooney set to marry Anne Widdecombe Empty George Clooney set to marry Anne Widdecombe

Post by Katiedot Wed 21 Dec 2011, 11:12

It's a joke!!

From the spoof

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

George Clooney off the market and set to marry Ann Widdecombe

Clooney's ex, cheerleader Candy Muff wished the couple well. 'She's welcome to the two-timing sleaze bucket.' Yes, showbiz fans, here at news headquarters we cannot quite believe it either (in fact our editor choked on his weight-watchers muesli bar when the stunning news came in) but 'tis true!! Womanising, silver fox and star of 'Return of the killer tomatoes,' George Clooney, is to marry!

As we close our windows to muffle the expected wailing from the single (and married for that matter) female populus, we can report that Mr Clooney clearly has an eye for a bit of British skirt, as his betrothed is none other than our own national treasure, Ann Widdecombe.

We can exclusively reveal that love blossomed during Clooney's recent political sticky-beaking regarding the 'Darfur Situation,' and he and Miss Widdecombe met at the launch of the 'Plant a marijuana bush for Darfur' campaign in our very own Stringfellows, in London town. Their eyes apparently met across a crowded dance floor, filled by paps and news reporters, but filled mostly by Peter Stringfellow's mullet.

Regardless of that, one glimpse was all that was needed, and it was l'amour!

Although immediately smitten, Mr. Clooney is said to have researched 'Widdy' a little more, taken one look at her pasa doble on a 'Strictly come dancing' dvd and it was straight down to 'Argos' for the engagement ring!

Though Mr. Clooney and Miss Widdecombe's friends and family are said to be overjoyed by the news, we can report that one such person who is less than thrilled is Clooney's womanising rival and fellow movie star, Jack Nicholson.

'Goddamn sneaky, underhand, scumsucking little douche bag. For years I've been tryin' to land that hot piece of ass Annie, and one raised eyebrow from Clooney and she is another one I gotta cross out of my little black book. I'm still fuckin' waiting for Edwina Currie to come see 'little Jackie.'

Miss Widdecombe was unavailable for comment today, as she is said to be busy at home searching' Ebay' for the perfect wedding dress, as a tribute to UK public belt-tightening, and not - as some of Clooney's harshest critics have alleged - because he is so tight, that he squeezes a dollar until George Washington screams for mercy.

The wedding will be taking place at Clooney's spectacular Lake Como mansion, and amongst the guests will be Miss Widdecombe's 'Strictly' partner, Anton du Beke and ever respectful Clooney's former girlfriends, who will be staying in the closest 1000 local hotels and guest houses (thought that is apparently a tight squeeze already)


Anne Widdecombe is a particularly unattractive British policitian in case you're wondering!
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Post by it's me Wed 21 Dec 2011, 11:55

ohhhhh thanks!

(guess 1000 is not enough)
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Post by Joanna Wed 21 Dec 2011, 18:32

Not a very kind joke though IMO, and
I'm disappointed to see it given credence on this fine forum.
Widdy was a great contestant on UK Strictly Come Dancing last year and made many friends amongst the TV viewers by appearing on that show.
Why oh why is it always about a lady's appearance ?
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Post by it's me Wed 21 Dec 2011, 18:33

mah....
who knows!?
it's me
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Post by ladydi Wed 21 Dec 2011, 19:04

Sometimes the articles in Spoof are more credible than the ones we read in People. LOL

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Post by LornaDoone Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:00

Oh, quit yer bitchin and somebody post a photo of her for goodness sakes!

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Post by it's me Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:06

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
it's me
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Post by LornaDoone Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:13

it's me! Thanks for posting the picture!

I think she's quite lovely! And given she's a conservative it will make for lively conversations!
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Post by Guest Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:20

Anne...humm, alright
So Anne it is!

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Post by Guest Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:25

LornaDoone wrote:it's me! Thanks for posting the picture!

I think she's quite lovely! And given she's a conservative it will make for lively conversations!

I wonder if this is how they will handle any disagreements in bed Laughing

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Post by LornaDoone Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:26

nnz wrote:
LornaDoone wrote:it's me! Thanks for posting the picture!

I think she's quite lovely! And given she's a conservative it will make for lively conversations!

I wonder if this is how they will handle any disagreements in bed Laughing

Who's on top? Brahahahahaha
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Post by Guest Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:33

Well Anne of course, to make sure he gets the point!

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Post by it's me Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:36

stop drinking, girls
it's me
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Post by LornaDoone Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:52

it's me wrote:stop drinking, girls

I haven't started drinking --- yet!
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