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Burn After Reading

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Burn After Reading

Post by Katiedot on Tue Dec 06 2011, 02:52

Can't believe we didn't have a thread for this yet! Anyway, I found this funny article:

From IFC.com

The dozen funniest death scenes in otherwise serious movies

From accidental headshots to toxic waste-fueled rampages, here's what made us laugh when we weren't expecting to.

Posted 12/05/2011

Shot in the Closet in "Burn After Reading" (2008)

One of the most unexpected (and shocking) death scenes in the history of cinema, poor Brad Pitt's demise in the Coen Brothers' underrated "Burn After Reading" is actually brought on by his "Ocean's Eleven" pal, George Clooney. Fitness enthusiast Chad Feldheimer (Pitt) sneaks into the house of former CIA analyst Osborne Cox (John Malkovich) in the hopes of finding secret government files he can give to the Russian Embassy in exchange for lots of money and ends up hiding in the closet when Cox's wife's lover, Harry Pfarrer (Clooney), unexpectedly shows up. Harry then opens the closet and‚ well, just watch and see. Sure, Burn After Reading can most definitely be considered a comedy (it's not exactly one of the Coen Brothers' more "serious" movies), but having one of its main characters suddenly get shot in the head (as hilarious as it is) marked the film taking a turn into much darker and more sinister territory.

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by melbert on Tue Dec 06 2011, 18:50

Priceless! He shows sooooo much expression! I'd shoot Brad too!
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Missa on Tue Dec 06 2011, 19:15

I have to admit, this is not my favorite George film. But Brad Pitt plays dumb really, really well. Laughing
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Katiedot on Sat Jan 07 2012, 03:13

If you have a butterfly mind that's easily distracted then I can only warn you now about the website that this article came from. Cracked is addictive. Seriously, majorly addictive. You pop in when you've got a quiet minute just to read an article or two and before you even know it, hours have passed and you've learnt such an amazing amount of useless information.

That could just be me of course. Ahem.

From cracked.com


If 'Burn After Reading' Was Shorter And Made Any Damn Sense

By: The Editing Room September 27, 2008


On Saturdays, we ask the people behind some of our favorite websites to fill in for us. You get to learn about an awesome site you may not have heard of, and we get to watch cartoons in our boxers. Today we're bringing you an abridged version of the screenplay for the Coen Brothers latest Burn After Reading, as provided by Rod Hilton, creator of The-Editing-Room.com.

FADE IN:

INT. DINNER PARTY

GEORGE CLOONEY, JOHN MALKOVICH, and TILDA SWINTON all converse during a party.

JOHN MALKOVICH
I just lost my job at the CIA, but just to make sure that nobody in the audience has anyone to sympathize with in the movie, I'm going to act like an arrogant prick to everyone.

GEORGE CLOONEY
Since I didn't win an Oscar for my performance in 'Michael Clayton' I'm going to give up on subtle performances entirely and overact my way through this whole thing.

TILDA SWINTON
And I'm going to be a stuck-up, raging bitch, thereby completing the trifecta of loathsome lead characters.

TILDA, who was fucking JOHN MALKOVICH now starts fucking GEORGE CLOONEY who is also fucking ELIZABETH MARVEL who disappears from the fucking MOVIE, which almost immediately begins fucking over the AUDIENCE. Fuck.

Meanwhile ...

INT. GYM

FRANCES MCDORMAND quirks her way around the GYM where she works with BRAD PITT.

BRAD PITT
Whoa, like, hey, I found this CD belonging to John Malkovich and it's all sorts of data and shit! Too bad there were no MP3s for me to put on my Apple brand iPod. iPod: rediscover your music.

FRANCES MCDORMAND
Whoa, Brad Pitt? I didn't know you still did movies that didn't require you to wear expensive suits or rob casinos. What's with the, you know, acting?

BRAD PITT
I was watching all these awesome movies from the late nineties and realized I was in half of them. Figured I should ignore the fact that I'm too old for this kind of role and try again.

FRANCES MCDORMAND
Oh, well lets blackmail the guy who lost this CD so I can pay for cosmetic surgery to make me look less like John Tesh.

The two of them are STUPID and therefore HILARIOUS. They get into WACKY HIJINKS that almost get close to making a POINT but luckily NEVER DO.

JOHN MALKOVICH
You two are in over your head.

FRANCES MCDORMAND
Because we're casually dabbling in blackmail, espionage, and treason?

JOHN MALKOVICH
No, because you're starring in a movie that is obviously a forgettable, throwaway palate cleanser made to follow up "No Country for Old Men" and absorb the post-Oscar-win-backlash. I've already forgotten this movie and it's only half over.

FRANCES and BRAD continue to try and make money from the discovery of a CD containing JOHN MALKOVICH'S screenplay for a jewel thief movie. FRANCES also starts dating GEORGE CLOONEY.


GEORGE CLOONEY
Hey, come back to my house and check out this thing I made. It's a chair that shoves a dildo up your vagina as you rock back and forth on it.

FRANCES MCDORMAND
What the fuck does this have to do with anything?

GEORGE CLOONEY
I dunno, apparently it got rejected from every Coen movie and finally landed in this one. Isn't it super wacky? It's a totally inappropriate sexual device smack-dab in the middle of a movie that gains nothing whatsoever from it's inclusion!

FRANCES MCDORMAND
That's so zany! Plus it pads the movie out a little longer!

They FUCK. GEORGE also fucks TILDA some more.


Eventually GEORGE gets startled by BRAD PITT and shoots him in the FACE.

GEORGE CLOONEY
Oh God! What have I done?! I've murdered the only remotely entertaining part of this utterly pointless movie!

TILDA SWINTON
The audience members are all checking their watches to see if it's early enough in the movie to get their money back, let's hurry and tie up all the loose ends. And by "tie," I of course mean "completely ignore."

GEORGE CLOONEY
Alright, let's finish your story by having me suddenly leave your house and never hear from you again at all.

TILDA SWINTON
Great, then you can run away in the middle of the park and never be heard from again as well!

GEORGE CLOONEY
Telling a story sure is easy when you don't bother actually telling it!



INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS

DAVID RASCHE is explaining the events of the movie to CIA DIRECTOR J.K. SIMMONS.

DAVID RASCHE
... and then Frances McDormand's other coworker broke into Malkovich's house, so Malkovich killed him with a gun and a hatchet and a flamethrower. Oh, and then our guy saw it and intervened, killing Malkovich. Let's see, then we picked up Frances, and then we gave her the money for her surgery. The end.

J.K. SIMMONS
Is this how movies end now? Just have a character say the ending out loud on camera? Jesus. What did we learn from all of this?

DAVID RASCHE
That actors will agree to be in your movie without even reading the script if you've just won the Best Director and Best Picture Oscars.



END
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat Jan 07 2012, 03:31

Thanks Katie that was fun.
I enjoyed BAR because it was so off the wall and laughed so much at Brad Pitt's performance, especially the phone call to
John Malkovich, priceless !
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Katiedot on Sat Jan 07 2012, 03:35

Burn after Reading was a weird one for me. I felt it was a bit uneven and they seemed like they couldn't decide whether to play it for laughs or play it straight.

I'm still not sure what Brad Pitt was doing in that film.
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by it's me on Sat Jan 07 2012, 03:37

George character was ahhhhhh so bad!

but I remember the song
subtly sang...
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat Jan 07 2012, 03:41

I enjoy good quality black humour so that's why it appeals. Some very funny one liners and scenes.
To me, it showed another side of Brad Pitt, his sense of humour, and why he & George "bounced off" one another so well, in the past anyway.

And I too have a butterfly mind so will enjoy that cracked web site,
thank you ! lol! Thumbs up!
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by pattygirl on Sat Jan 07 2012, 07:55

I'm with you, Joanna. I thought BAR was hilarious. I thoroughly enjoy it when George acts outrageous. You can just tell he's having a ball.
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat Jan 07 2012, 09:21

.....and JM was priceless !!!!
Memo to self, must watch it again on my laptop on my own.
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by melbert on Sat Jan 07 2012, 10:09

There wasn't too much about the movie I didn't like. I had some ROFLMAO moments and then some of the subtle little giggle moments. Sure, it didn't make any sense, but sometimes you need that in life!
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat Jan 07 2012, 10:30

True Mel, True.
And that's part of the fun of following GTC, IMO.

Long may his Bachelorhood Continue I say ! lol!
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by melbert on Sat Jan 07 2012, 10:45

Absofreakinlutely Joanna!!!!
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat Jan 07 2012, 10:54

lol! Coolio Drink 3 Good night
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat May 19 2012, 03:26

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat May 19 2012, 03:29

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat May 19 2012, 03:33

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Lakin460 on Sat May 19 2012, 08:11

I liked this movie...seen it more than once. I like a good zany senseless dark comedy. Clooney and Pitt are idiots in this and I thought it was entertaining. To each her own, huh?
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by melbert on Sat May 19 2012, 08:23

OK, gotta watch it again! Clooneyathon at my house!!!
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Lakin460 on Sat May 19 2012, 08:28

I'll be right over!!!!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by melbert on Sat May 19 2012, 08:30

Do you take cream and/or sugar with your coffee?
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Sat May 19 2012, 08:35

I loved it and Brad always make me laff in it....
and JM is brilliant too
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Lakin460 on Sat May 19 2012, 12:56

melbert wrote:Do you take cream and/or sugar with your coffee?

cream, if you please, dear Very Happy How 'bout I bring the tiramisu?
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by melbert on Sat May 19 2012, 15:08

Absofreakinlutely!!!! And I'll have a side of George too!!!! See what you can do Lakin!
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Lakin460 on Sat May 19 2012, 15:21

You got it, babe! I do my best....right after O Brother Where Art Thou is over.....
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Mon May 28 2012, 05:00

Want a test ?

Count the times the derivatives of the anglo saxon word fuck are mentioned here !

George would love this version me thinks Coolio


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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Mon May 28 2012, 05:04

In a hurry today ?

One minute version here lol!


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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by melbert on Mon May 28 2012, 06:37

OK, gotta watch it today!!!
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Mon Aug 06 2012, 07:54

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Mon Aug 06 2012, 07:55

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Cinderella on Mon Aug 06 2012, 09:00

I've seen it! Smile
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Maggy on Mon Aug 06 2012, 09:09

Cinderella wrote:I've seen it! Smile
Not me pirat
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by beeh! on Mon Aug 06 2012, 09:14

one of my all-time faves Smile
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Fri Sep 07 2012, 09:57

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Nicky80 on Thu Oct 16 2014, 12:50

Found on twitter (einster)


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Throwback Thursday: George Clooney Yucks It Up at Van Sickel Salon While Filming Burn After Reading

It’s Throwback Thursday and this entry from October 3, 2007 is all about the recently married George Clooney’s visit to Middagh Street’s Van Sickel Salon while in the nabe filming the Coen Brothers’ [url=http://www.amazon.com/s/?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=Burn After]Burn After Reading[/url].


The folks at Van Sickel salon on Middagh Street not only had the opportunity to watch a major motion picture shoot right in front of their store, but according to reports had the privilege of offering Burn After Reading Star George Clooney use of their restroom. Now that’s show biz!

While the paparazzi may stalk celebs, these photos and others sent to us by BHB readers are a great representation of the excitement most of the neighborhood had for the shoot and the genuine friendliness of the cast and crew of the film.

Thank you Coen Brothers, George Clooney, Brad Pitt and John “That Portal is Mine” Malkovich. Come back soon!

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by LizzyNY on Thu Oct 16 2014, 13:38

Nicky - Thanks for something to look at that doesn't start with "Amal...". I was beginning to forget whose fan site this is. Give Flowers
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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Nicky80 on Fri May 29 2015, 14:49

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by amaretti on Fri May 29 2015, 14:56

That was his special bed . He he hee

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Re: Burn After Reading

Post by Joanna on Fri May 29 2015, 15:54

Oh I do love that film.

Hoorah!
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Re: Burn After Reading

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