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General Chitchat for October

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by it's me on Wed Oct 12 2011, 21:57

funny!

send G Can\'t read it!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by melbert on Thu Oct 13 2011, 03:44

PattyGirl - brava!!!!!!!! You made me LOL!!!!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by pattygirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 04:35

Glad I made you laugh!

That'll be it from me for a while. I'm gonna not participate for a while. I find it very sad the amount of badmouthing of George of late. So many negative commenting is making me very sad. I thought this was supposed to be a site about George but it seems that even when something positive is printed, so many of the comments seem to be mean spirited and downright nasty. Maybe I'll come back when it's closer to time for The Descendants. I might check in occasionally but no comments or reactions from me.

Cindigirl, I'll talk to you on phone for now.


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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by davidarochelle on Thu Oct 13 2011, 05:14

Pattygirl, do you honestly think that the negativity is towards G or about his choice of girls, and his apparent attitude towards them. I think that some people don't realize that this is more of a publicity stunt, although his stereotypical male behavior makes him look much less evolved than I feel he actually is. Maybe people expect much more of G than of Leo DiCaprio and his succession of models. And it is common (though not really fair) to badmouth someone whose lifestyle does not reflect one's own values. Davida-Rochelle

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by davidarochelle on Thu Oct 13 2011, 05:21

Good example of a Brain Study

If you can read this you have a strong mind (or so it says....) :

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15 .

Enjoy the challenge. Davida-Rochelle

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Dior on Thu Oct 13 2011, 07:46

@ Cinderella
For your eyes only I changed my picture. clown
This is shy little me.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by it's me on Thu Oct 13 2011, 13:32

you are really nice Very Happy

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by it's me on Thu Oct 13 2011, 13:33

davidarochelle wrote: Good example of a Brain Study

If you can read this you have a strong mind (or so it says....) :

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15 .

Enjoy the challenge. Davida-Rochelle


not all but...

ok
I'm crazy too Laughing

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by MyGirlKylie on Thu Oct 13 2011, 13:38

Pattygirl, I will miss you. Sad but I understand. Sometimes we all need a break.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Cinderella on Thu Oct 13 2011, 14:17

davidarochelle wrote:Pattygirl, do you honestly think that the negativity is towards G or about his choice of girls, and his apparent attitude towards them. I think that some people don't realize that this is more of a publicity stunt, although his stereotypical male behavior makes him look much less evolved than I feel he actually is. Maybe people expect much more of G than of Leo DiCaprio and his succession of models. And it is common (though not really fair) to badmouth someone whose lifestyle does not reflect one's own values. Davida-Rochelle

Davida, have you ever felt someone else’s pain? Do you have empathy? I really wonder where your loyalties are because right now I have the feeling you’re all about yourself. And if you think I’m trying to pick a fight, well, you may be right. Patty is one of the nicest ladies I’ve had the wonderful experience of meeting on this forum and when she expressed her feelings about what’s been going on with her, you totally ignored her feelings and berated her for having them. Shame on you! That pisses me off! Just saying…

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by cindigirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 15:04

Hi patty, so sorry to hear you're retreating from this forum. We'll all miss you and your chats. You and three cups of coffee wake me up each morning with a laugh. LOL

I can understand how you feel bad when someone here expresses negativity, but everyone has their opinion and most give it. I think it's much easier all around to just fluff it off.
Smash computer

Talk to you on the phone.


Last edited by cindigirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 15:05; edited 1 time in total

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by lucy on Thu Oct 13 2011, 15:05

Pattygirl, enjoy your break everyone needs one occasionally, will miss you and look forward to your return. Although I love many things GTC, there are times his choices pisses me off and my comments reflect that, I don't think many here are negative just expressing their opinions.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by davidarochelle on Thu Oct 13 2011, 16:37

Cindigirl, I must accept the fact that you do NOT understand me at all. As far as not being sensitive, there are many times I have questioned my own logic of staying on this (my very first blog) when I feel that I am often misinterpreted and even attacked. I feel that I was just trying to help convince Pattygirl why all of the time and work she must spend for COH is truly appreciated. The negativity is because some of the posters do not understand G's actions (especially regarding SK) and are therefore critical of him. If you look at the discussions of his films and charity work I feel that she would feel more positive about her efforts with COH and would admire G more.

And as to why I must disagree with some of you who "dis" G and try to explain (but not always justify) his actions? I will confess it's because I have evidence that he has in some ways been fulfilling my request for "career guidance" and I am very loyal.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by sandwiches on Thu Oct 13 2011, 16:48

I'll miss you on the forum Pattygirl. See you when you get back.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by it's me on Thu Oct 13 2011, 16:50

ciao Patty
I'll miss you too


hope peace
soon
for everyone here

big hugs to all ! This big

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Cinderella on Thu Oct 13 2011, 16:54

Davida, It's Cinderella not CindiGirl!

And concerning your "Career Guidance" do you talk to him?

I started following George because I have a soft heart for Africa, its people and, all that’s happening there. Not just Sudan. I am a member of UNICEF and help where I’m needed through other organizations. And when the stories started coming out about Africa and the split, from North and South, I started following George. In the process, I had been writing a screenplay that I was having trouble getting some of the ideas and started using George as a, kind of, muse. It has helped me figure out some the finer points in my story because I’ve researched his directing style and it’s helped a lot. As for me, I never have met the man. But I don’t think, after all the research on his humanitarian and directorial achievements, he can be as bad as some people here are saying. It doesn’t add up. That’s why I keep thinking he’s a lot different than we give him credit for. IMHO


Last edited by Cinderella on Thu Oct 13 2011, 17:24; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : added)

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by sandwiches on Thu Oct 13 2011, 17:29

davidarochelle wrote: Good example of a Brain Study

If you can read this you have a strong mind (or so it says....) :

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15 .

Enjoy the challenge. Davida-Rochelle

I can read this very easily.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by cindigirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 17:30

I don't see any reason to critcize G's actions toward Stacy. I think this is a make believe relationship. I'm pretty sure she never mentioned him in any of her insane tweets and I know he never acknowledged she was his girlfriend. What opens him to criticism is the fact that he never denied it. He's probably using his exposure with her for PR only. I'm not saying this is the right thing to do but hey, this is Hollywood. They're a different breed than us simple folks.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by it's me on Thu Oct 13 2011, 17:37

are u Italian, sandwiches?

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by cindigirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 17:40

@davida: Rough translation -
"This message serves to provide how our minds can do amazing things. In the beginning it was hard but now on this message your mind is reading automatically without even thinking about it so be proud only certain people can read this Please forward if you can read this."

Did I come close?

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by it's me on Thu Oct 13 2011, 17:48

and the

1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!

??

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Katiedot on Thu Oct 13 2011, 18:07

"Impressive things"

It's really easy for just about everyone (native English speaking!) to read.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by cindigirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 18:07

Sorry I meant to say "impressive."

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by sandwiches on Thu Oct 13 2011, 18:08

it's me wrote:are u Italian, sandwiches?

No, I'm Canadian and I only speak/read/write english.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by pattygirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 19:39

I've got to send you these joke when I get them. Can't help myself.



WIFE FROM HELL

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and groans,

'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.

That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'W ILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

(I love this part)


'Only when he's been drinking.!!'

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by cindigirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 19:47

Hahaha patty, nice way to give it away. Wonder if their next stop was divorce court. LOL

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by davidarochelle on Thu Oct 13 2011, 20:14

Cinderella, I am very sorry I got your name wrong. And Pattigirl if I appeared hurtful or dismissive of your feelings in any way, then I owe you a very sincere and public apology. My goal was to attempt to talk you out of you decision; I did not mean to seem selfish. I just reallt appreciate your wise postings. G prefers to use "go-betweens" initially to communicate. Numerous strangers have told me that in answer to my request of his assistant on UITA that "I wish that I could find a personal manager or assistant to give me a little guidance" that I have gotten a little help. Specifically an on-set stage manager, who I just thought was being very friendly to me, told his fellow crew members that he was really just trying to "screw me." One day he said that "a very powerful person in the industry" told him to "back-off in no uncertain terms." The stage manager said he was shocked at who it was. But he immediately changed. See certain things are very hard to me to explain, especially since I do NOT believe everything I am told either. It is very, very hard for me to "wait and see." Davida-Rochelle

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by MM on Thu Oct 13 2011, 20:21

MyGirlKylie wrote:Ok this is for you, Patty. One year while shopping for outfits to wear to our company's Xmas party, I ran across this dressy kimono type outfit. The pants were silky and kind of clingy so I got the brilliant idea of wearing those control top undies. Well, during the party, the trouble started early. Silky pants with silky panties meant that I felt like I was slipping out of my seat. Then after hitting the dance floor, I was like Ross from Friends trying to pull the control tops back up after the bathroom. My friend had to come over to my bathroom stall and try to help me pull them up. I can only imagine what people coming into that bathroom thought, 2 women in the same tiny stall, stomping around in our heels on the tile floor. We finally get them back up. Rest of the evening goes off without a hitch until we get back to her house (we carpooled with her and her hubby) and I need to pee. I swear those damn things got tighter & tighter as the night went on. You see where this is going? This time I couldn't get them down so I had to get her to cut them off of me. So I went commando on the way home.
I've never lived that down...it still comes up when we're all together. Rolling Eyes LMAO


I had a similar situation on my way into work many years ago. I was wearing a skirt, with a half-slip and control-top pantyhose under my winter coat. As I was walking along, I felt my half-slip sliding down my legs until they hit the ground.

Another incident in the summer of 1986 (age 24). I was wearing a cotton dress with just a bra and panties on underneath along my dress sandals on. I was standing on the street corner, waiting for the light to change, when a strong wind blew down the street, lifting my skirt in the style of Marliyn Monroe in the "Seven Year Itch" film. I quickly pulled my skirt down, just as I heard loud male laughter behind me. I turned around, and saw eight of my male co-workers about half a block behind me laughing and pointing at me (I was their secretary at that time). Man, was I embarrassed!! Good thing I was slender at the time, or I would have looked worse. Good thing it was me, and not Britney Spears, LOL!!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Dior on Thu Oct 13 2011, 20:58

Panty Jokes.. I had a weird situation, too.
One night I came back from a party and went to bed very late, although I knew I had to get up early.
Don't know, what I did before I went to bed, but the next morning I was pretty late ( how came) and in a hurry and so I just jumped into the jeans I took off at night.
Then I went out and met my girl friend at the parking lot of a big shopping mall. Many many people were there and suddenly I felt something slipping down inside of my jeans.
But when I noticed it was already too late, it was an extra panty coming out of my jeans and it fell on the ground while I was walking.
Pretty embarassing, I had to go back and pick it up and my girl friend laughed at me and so did a lot of people...
Coincidently it was the same panty which fell out of my suitcase one time. Since it has shown up in public twice I call it the adventure panty.


Last edited by Dior on Thu Oct 13 2011, 20:59; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : typo)

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by cindigirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 21:11

That is embarrssing. If I were you I wouldn't let those panties out of the confines of my home. LOL Sounds like very adventurous panties.

BTW you are very pretty in your avatar.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Dior on Thu Oct 13 2011, 21:24

Merci, you too.
The adventurous panties have their own will and their own life, at the moment they are hiding.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by pattygirl on Thu Oct 13 2011, 22:56

Saw this on facebook.

When you're single, people ask about a boyfriend. When u have a fiance, they ask about a wedding. When u get married, they ask when will u have a baby? When u have one, they ask when is the little brother or sister coming? When you have another one they ask, why you having all these children? When u get divorced, they ask why? If u moved on, they ask why so quickly? People will NEVER STOP ASKING & TALKING... if you're proud of who u are and u don't care about what people think about u, paste it on your wall because it's your life and u should decide how to LIVE IT BEST FITS YOU!!!!!!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by davidarochelle on Fri Oct 14 2011, 00:21

Pattygirl, Re your last post: now you know why I don't want you to take even a temporary leave from COH, and I am so sorry if this sounds very selfish of me. Even when I am not involved with acting I am told that "I do not fit in" and I have been asked questions similar to that post so many times I could scream (or vow to become a hermit.) I LOVE the last sentence. Thank you so much. Davida-Rochelle

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by melbert on Fri Oct 14 2011, 03:30

PattyGirl - love ya girlfriend and I respect your decision. Hope you continue to come to General ChitChat with your jokes and keep us posted on your family antics.

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by LornaDoone on Fri Oct 14 2011, 04:24

OMG! LMAO on that joke about the couple who got pulled over by the cop! Pattygirl, thanks for the serious belly laughs! Laughing

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by LornaDoone on Fri Oct 14 2011, 04:35

Has anyone in the US been watching The Sing Off? It's a competition show where the contestant teams sing acapella.

Very diverse group of singers and each week I'm amazed at what these people can do with their voices.

There is one group from Howard University called Afro Blue that did a jazzy version of the song "American Boy" that literally brought the house to their feet. I loved it so much that I downloaded it from iTunes.

Here's a link to the show's website in case anyone decides they want to catch the show. Awesome singing and not one instrument in sight!

http://www.nbc.com/sing-off/

http://www.nbc.com/sing-off/video/week-3-afro-blue-sings-american-boy/1359783

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by MM on Fri Oct 14 2011, 13:30

pattygirl wrote:Saw this on facebook.

When you're single, people ask about a boyfriend. When u have a fiance, they ask about a wedding. When u get married, they ask when will u have a baby? When u have one, they ask when is the little brother or sister coming? When you have another one they ask, why you having all these children? When u get divorced, they ask why? If u moved on, they ask why so quickly? People will NEVER STOP ASKING & TALKING... if you're proud of who u are and u don't care about what people think about u, paste it on your wall because it's your life and u should decide how to LIVE IT BEST FITS YOU!!!!!!

Yep, that is so true. Here is my catch-all phrase to those kind of questions: Get a life, people!!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by pattygirl on Fri Oct 14 2011, 20:42

Maxine is one of my favorites. Hope you enjoy these. (for each of these great tips, original tips are by Martha Stewart, the more sensible tips are Maxine's. Pictures didn't transfer over, sorry.

Kitchen Wisdom

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!
*************************

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.
******************
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

*****************

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up..'

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

*********************
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery? Never heard of it!

********************
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

*********************
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine?????????? HELLO!!!!!!!

*******************
Lastly, if you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.

Really.... It's true! Have I ever lied to you?........






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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Cinderella on Fri Oct 14 2011, 21:48

lol! Thanks, Patty! I love Maxine! She's funny!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by pattygirl on Fri Oct 14 2011, 21:56

You are welcome! Very Happy

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by sandwiches on Fri Oct 14 2011, 22:26

Maxine is awesome!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by pattygirl on Sat Oct 15 2011, 00:25

Joke time!

Chili Cook-Off
If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two
judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid
pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding
by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers and
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions,
garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt.
At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to
really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

pattygirl
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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by pattygirl on Sat Oct 15 2011, 00:27

Joke #2

Natural Born Citizen

Many believe our real problem is that we worry about Democrats versus Republicans? Both these political parties do indeed create havoc, turmoil and generally are the cause of constipation of the U.S. BUT, (no pun intended) the real problems lie in our schools and universities, therefore, follow the example below.

In a Michigan State University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of the U.S. and at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

The class was taking it all in and letting her rant, ironically, not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating: "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"

Yep, these are the same kind of 21-year-olds that just voted in our last election.

They breed and they walk among us.


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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Cinderella on Sat Oct 15 2011, 02:15

lol!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by davidarochelle on Sat Oct 15 2011, 04:05

Thanks again Pattygirl for your time on COH. Love the food storage tips, and the comedy. Never would have heard of Maxine if it weren't for you. And my wilting celery thanks you too. Davida-Rochelle

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by pattygirl on Sat Oct 15 2011, 13:58

And the way to start a sunny Saturday-


Quickly into the bushe

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude
> > woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
> > years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a
> > single gesture, brings the two to life!!!!!!!!
> >
> > The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a
> > hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life
> > for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
> >
> > He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
> >
> > shrubbery.
> >
> >
> > The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
> >
> > After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
> > The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you
> > care to do it again?'
> >
> > He asks her 'Shall we?'
> >
> > She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change
> > positions....This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its
> > head.'
> >
> > AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ????
>

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by cindigirl on Sat Oct 15 2011, 14:04

RFOL patty - yes revenge is sweet!!!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by MyGirlKylie on Sun Oct 16 2011, 00:36

Lmao at the jokes Patty. I literally LOL'd at "Is chili an aphrodisiac?"

LoL @ Dior's adventure panties. Man, the jokes just write themselves with that description. Wink

I am soooo enjoying the cooler fall weather. I went on a field trip to the mountains with my daughter's class yesterday. We went for a hike and the 3 girls that I was chaperoning got to see a chipmunk up close and personal. It ran out of some fallen trees straight toward us. It got the Hell out of Dodge when it saw all those kids though. LoL


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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by LornaDoone on Mon Oct 17 2011, 02:34

Patty I told the statue joke at lunch today to some 20 something family members (despite one saying 'Oh, Oh, I hear a joke coming") and despite not quite getting the details correct but when I hit the punch line BOTH of them started howling!

So thank you - I now get to be the family member with the very funny jokes! Keep um coming - love your sense of humor!

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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Cinderella on Mon Oct 17 2011, 03:06

I feel good.... na na na na na na na!!! lol!


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Re: General Chitchat for October

Post by Sponsored content Today at 06:13


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